“Of course I am. That’s not what I meant.” She reddens even more than when my hand was wrapped around her neck. “What I mean is… before everything. You know…” She pauses, then brings up something she hasn’t brought up since we’ve been together. “I was bullied pretty bad, growing up in Astley.”
“I know.”
I was her worst bully, after all, and I haven’t forgotten it. I should probably feel remorse about it, too, but when I think back, it kind of just turns me on.
I guess my subconscious has always wanted control over her. The difference is that now, she wants the same thing. I didn’t really give her a choice back then when I pushed her head in the toilet, or mocked her in front of my friends, or smacked her ass in public to punish her for talking back.
The only thing Idoregret is the public aspect of it. No way would I ever allow anyone to see a thing, now. I really wish Icouldkeep her in a closet, because then, no one would be able to look at her.
I want to strangle anyone whose eyes even accidentally landon her. But I’ve gotten pretty good at hiding the depths of my obsession from her, because it would probably freak her out just a bit.
“Come with me.” Piper goes back to her initial arguments. “Come live with me.”
I hiss in frustration. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” She knows perfectly well, but she’s in denial, because it doesn’t fit her perfect Nancy Drew world. I don’t bother to answer. Instead, I’m finding myself calculating how long a round trip to California would be, and if I could possibly take one every day.
Which is completely nuts, but lately I’ve started getting two contracts a week, so there’s no way I’d be able to miss even one day here. One contract takes about three days, the first one being preparation, the second, the kill. On the third, I’m reporting back to Tragen and getting the following one. That’s six days, which only leaves one free.
But one day a week is impossible. I can’t possibly survive without seeing her every day.
Staking out the contract takes the most time, and those days are hard enough, only seeing her at night. But the kill on the next day practically always takes place at night, so maybe I could be with her during the day…
No, impossible. They’d know something was off. A Devil soldier isn’t allowed to have a girlfriend. And even if those rules could possibly be bent for me—though I know they probably wouldn’t be—I donotwant my girl on their radar.
No. This situation is impossible. Just impossible.
It’s back to Plan A. Gagging and binding her and keeping her in my closet.
“How about a compromise?” suggests Piper. “I could probably fit all my classes into three days. That means I could be with you for four days a week. Even if you can’t come visitme, I’dallow you to…” She flushes, and the words tumble out of her with difficulty, “I’d be thankful, I mean, if you paid for my tickets back to Astley every week. If you’re sure you can afford it.”
Four days is better than one, but it’s still not enough. “What about those other three days?”
She clicks her tongue in impatience. “Three days isn’t much.”
“It’s too much.”
I wind my hand around her hair, but this time, it’s not to hurt her. Just to touch her red curls, and she practically purrs, nudging at my fingers like a kitten so my touch turns into stroking her hair, her face, her neck. Goddamnit. I need this girl too much. It’s insane.
Compromise. I really fucking hate that word, especially when it’s being used by the girl who should be wrapping herself around my iron will.
“Fine,” I say, and her face brightens. “A compromise.”
“Thank you, Quill,” she gasps. “Thank you.”
“A gap year. You can take a gap year, and then we’ll figure it out later.”
Her face falls, but at the same time, she seems kind of relieved by this solution which she clearly hadn’t thought of. It reassures me to know she really didn’t want to leave me after all. It would have been a sacrifice for her too.
“Okay,” she gives in at last. “I’ll see if it’s possible to keep my scholarship if I take a gap year.”
You’ll take it anyway,I think, already imagining the letter I’m about to send in her name.
“After that, though, I’m going to college,” she adds.
We’ll see.I’ve had just about enough of her talking, so I take the panties I’d ripped off earlier, stuff them into her mouth as she giggles around them, then whip her thighs open and nestle against them.
One year gives me enough time to think of a solution. Asolution where she never leaves my side.
