Sighing, I follow him out. I grit my teeth as I think of Mom, sleeping while he has to go late to work so he can make sure his daughter’s okay. What would happen if I really were sick? Would he lose his job at Devil just so he could do his job as a parent, while Mom napped away? What the hell is wrong with her?
But I don’t say a word as I follow him to the car, because I know that criticizing Mom is the one thing that could make him lose his temper with me. His love for her borders on the obsession. No, itisa full-blown obsession. He loves me to death, but even that love couldn’t hope to match the devotion he has forMom.
I’m the center of his world, but the nucleus is Mom. I’ve always come second, and I guess I always will.
Second for him, last for everyone else.
But maybe that will change. Maybe I’ll finally come first for someone now.
My heart beats faster at the thought, but then I make a face as I stare at the seat I’m supposed to sit on.
How the hell am I going to survive school today if I can’t even manage to sit in a padded car seat?
I do my best to disguise the lancinating pain that erupts as I wriggle down into the seat, trying to turn in such a way that my ass makes the least amount of contact with it as possible.
Dad notices, though. “Sure you’re okay, pumpkin?”
“Yep.” I try to keep my voice as relaxed as possible. “I actually fell on my ass yesterday as I was walking home. You know how clumsy I am.”
I let out a pained laugh, which he doesn’t return.
“Do you think that’s why you were in such pain last night? Could you have injured yourself?”
Dad issucha worrier. I roll my eyes at him, even though I’m thankful that he cares.
“I’m fine, Dad. It was my butt. It hurts, but you know, it’s cushioned. Maybe I bruised my tailbone. Not a thing to do about it, though.”
I add that last bit hastily, realizing it could explain the intense pain while also reassuring him. Sure enough, his features relax.
“If you don’t feel better soon, I’ll take you in for an X-ray. We need to make sure you didn’t break it.”
I nod in agreement, already knowing there’s no way that’s going to happen. For one, we can’t afford one. Dad’s insurance covers the bare minimum, and honestly, it should be a crime, the kind of shitty, barely existent benefits he gets from Devil.
For another thing, obviously I know exactly what’s wrong with me. Or right, rather.
I close my eyes, allowing myself to sink into the pain, and even to enjoy it, because it’s Quill’s. It’s a vivid, beautiful memory of the beautiful thing that happened last night. Of what I hope will happen every night from now on.
Though maybe not quite so painful, at least for a while, because my body definitely needs to heal.
For the first time, my heart thrills as I realize how often I’ll see him today. Because today’s Monday, and he’s in all of my Monday classes.
I used to think I had the worst luck to somehow find myself in almost all the same classes as Quill’s.
Now, though, I can’t wait. I wonder if he’ll manage to switch seats so he can sit beside me. I wonder if he’ll hold my hand. I wonder if he’ll let everyone in school know he belongs to me now, and I belong to him.
Girlfriend and boyfriend doesn’t feel strong enough to describe the ownership I feel over him right now, and the way it feels like he owns me, too.
__
I get to school just as the bell rings. Crap, I’m going to be late. Especially since my sore ass is making me walk at a snail’s pace. I yell goodbye to Dad, then hurry to my first class, not bothering to stop at my locker first. No time.
By the time I get there, the hallways are deserted. But Quill is waiting outside, and I smile brightly at him, my heart swelling as I realize hewaitedfor me.
Then the swelling dies down just as fast when he spares mejust one quick, furious glance, before disappearing into the class.
That glance is like a thunder clap. My whole body suddenly grows cold. I freeze in the hallway, trying to make sense of what’s just happened, feeling exactly like a week-old balloon that’s slowly deflating. Then, coming to my senses, I walk slowly into class too.
It’s math class, an absolute abomination of a subject taught by an abomination of a teacher. He glares at me as I walk in.
