“Not so much that. It’s hard to explain. If I were just the victim, then I was weak. I was prey. But if I were protecting my sister, I was the sentry, the guard who kept her safe. And that gave me the strength not to give up, at least until my daughter came along.”
He nods and steeples his fingers. “So Neveah is an author. Is she based here full-time or does she travel?”
“She has traveled, but Raven’s Fall is her permanent home. She lives with her partner, Havoc, who is the president of a motorcycle club.”
My lips twitch as his eyes open comically wide.
“I’m sure I read your father was, or is, a pastor. That’s a change of pace.”
I grin. “Yep. And it went down every bit as well as you think it might have, but they’re slowly mending fences.”
“This motorcycle club. Have you been there? From what I know, they are very male-dominated. Is that something you struggle with?”
I sigh, picking at the hem of my jeans. “It’s not always easy. The guys are great, though. They go out of their way to make me feel safe. But my fear isn’t of them per se, and they get that. What’s that saying I keep seeing all over social media?” I click my fingers, trying to remember before it comes to me. “It’s notall men, but it’s always a man, or something like that. If we could tell who the dangerous ones were just by looking at them, things would be a lot easier, that’s for sure.”
“And I would probably have many fewer clients.” He nods his head. It’s a sad truth, but one we both know to be reality.
We talk for another forty minutes before he wraps up the session. “Alright, I think we can pick this up on your next session. Do you have anything you want to ask me before you go?”
“I can’t really think of anything. I’m sure I’ll think of a bunch of questions later, though.”
“Well, you can make a note of them and bring them with you on your next session. If you have any major issues, though, you can always call, and I’ll try to talk you through them. Does this same time slot work for you next week, too?”
I nod. Keeping the same day and time makes it harder to forget.
“Okay, great. It was a pleasure to meet you, Citi. I really think after a few sessions, things will start looking very differently for you.”
I get to my feet and offer him a timid smile. “Thanks again for seeing me.”
“My pleasure.” He grins, and if I weren’t such a fucking mess, I’d likely be flustered. The man is seriously good-looking, but nobody affects me the way Ambros does.
I let myself out and head down the stairs to the ground floor. I make my way outside and take a deep breath as soon as the cool air hits me. I won’t lie and say the whole thing wasn’t draining, but I feel a little lighter for getting some of it off my chest and talking it through. There is something so much easier about handing my burdens off to a stranger rather than weighing down someone I care about.
I walk around the corner to the little cafe I saw when I arrived and head inside. I order a hot tea with a bit of honey to soothe my throat from all the talking before I pull out my phone and text Ambros.
All done. I’m just having a drink in the cafe around the corner.
My cell phone rings a few moments later, Ambros’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hey.”
“Hey, I’m already on my way, so it was easier for me to call. You doing okay?”
“Yeah. It was tiring, but good.”
“I’m glad. You going to see him again?”
“Yeah. Same time next week.”
“I won’t be able to be there for you when you come out again, but I can have a prospect there ready if you’d rather not wait.”
When I was making my appointment, I wasn’t thinking about the times he could get away from the gym. I wasn’t used to thinking about anyone other than Star.
“No, I don’t mind waiting here for you, and I’d rather it be you. I’m okay today, but he did warn me that some of the sessions would be harder on me than others.”
He’s quiet for a minute before he sighs. “Maybe I could see Havoc about getting my hours changed a little.”
“Ambros, it’s fine. It might actually help to have a little time here alone to decompress for a minute.”
