He nods. “Last Monday of every month for those who can make it.”
“Do the old ladies go?”
“No. I think someone said Delphi did back in the day, but I haven’t seen her since she’s been back on the scene. Legs and Nevaeh don’t have much interest. And just between you and me, Amity can shoot most of us brothers under the table.”
I chuckle at that. “I’m glad my sister has her as a best friend. They’re like yin and yang, opposites that fit perfectly together.”
“That pretty much sums them up. Did you want to go with the club?”
“I don’t know. Havoc and Kruger assumed I couldn’t cope, and I didn’t correct them, but men think like men.”
He looks at me, bemused, because how else would he think?
“I mean, never actually being a woman, they don’t assess risks the same way we do. They think I’ll feel safer with just Nathan because more men equals more fear, right?”
“Right.”
“And in some circumstances, that’s absolutely true. Like if it were a group of strangers. But it’s not. It’s men I know—men like Havoc, who would kill anyone who tried to mess with me. So, in this scenario, I’d actually be safer with the group than alone with a single man I don’t know all that well and who isn’t bound by the club’s bylaws. Plus, it’s easier to get away with something if there is nobody there to witness it and hold you accountable. In cases of he said she said, women rarely come out the victor.”
“Well fuck, when you put it like that, I feel like an idiot. I just assumed Nathan came across as non-threatening and?—”
I shake my head and sigh. “Hate to burst your bubble, Ambros, but no guy comes off as non-threatening. To you, predators have sharp fangs and claws. To me, the worst kind of predators use pretty words and secret smiles. Fathers, sons, brothers, and uncles —even grandfathers—are safe for some and a potential nightmare for others. You read the sex offenders register and you’ll find it littered with clergymen, doctors, teachers, and police officers, people we are inherently taught as children to trust. People you would deem as safe and non-threatening.”
My words are having an effect on him. I bet his stomach is churning, likely thinking about Star being at school right now,with teachers he’s never met. The fact that she doesn’t speak makes it worse. And now he’s experiencing a fraction of the fear most women encounter more than once in their lifetime.
* * *
I climb off the bike, thankful that my ass doesn’t hurt this time, and hand Ambros the helmet.
“I don’t like that you make me wear this when you don’t have one for yourself.”
“I won’t risk you.”
“I don’t want to risk you either.”
He looks me over, and must see something in my eyes, because instead of arguing about it, he nods. “I’ll pick one up later today.”
“Thank you.”
“Not a hardship having a pretty girl worry about my handsome face” he teases as he swings his leg over the bike and stands next to me.
“You won’t look so handsome if you get in an accident and smear that face of yours across the asphalt.”
“Alright, point taken.” He looks around. “You want to wait here while I go up and grab the keys, or you want to come with me?”
I bite my lip, hating feeling like a fucking chicken all the time, but also smart enough to know I have limits for a reason. Being a coward is better than being a blubbering wreck because I tripped a trigger and ended up rocking in the corner somewhere. Still, I have to try.
“I’ll come with you. Just don’t leave me, okay?”
“Never.”
I swallow because his words feel like a promise. Somehow I know he isn’t just talking about here, today.
“What is it about you?” I murmur, looking up at him.
Ambros is a force to be reckoned with. He’s huge. Maybe an inch taller than Havoc and built like a fighting machine. He has the kind of body that you see in those men’s health magazines, all aesthetically shot in black and white. My mind wanders for a moment as I imagine what he’d look like, all greased up and leaning over me. I wait for the familiar panic to slip into my mind, like black smoke drifting across the sun. But, for once, it doesn’t appear.
He grins, and I won’t pretend that smile doesn’t do things to me. Things I’m not ready for yet. Things I might never be ready for.
