She huffs out a dry laugh and shakes her head. “I should have realized. I’m so fucking stupid.”
“Hey, stop it. You’re not dumb.”
She looks at me and swallows. “Two women were arguing when I went in, about there being no elevator. She had a double stroller and couldn’t get up the stairs without it. I just kept out of their way and went up to my appointment, never once questioning how my wheelchair-bound therapist got upstairs.”
It takes a few moments for the penny to drop. When it does, people start cursing. Havoc pulls out his phone and hits a button before spinning it around for Citi to see. “Is this your therapist?”
Citi nods.
“That’s—”
“I know who he is.”
We all settle down again as she takes a few deep breaths. My mind is still reeling from the fact that I sent my woman off to this fucking maniac once a week, oblivious to the danger she was in.
“I passed Pig on the stars. He said a few choice words, leaving me feeling rattled. I assumed he had the same therapist as me. Like I said, stupid.
“The session went fine to start with. But I think Pig put me on edge, and I was more combative than usual. Some of the things Michael was saying just ticked me off. I must have rattled him because he slipped. When I told him I’d gotten sad news that Lil had died, he called her Lilac. I was stupid. I called him on it. I didn’t think. His wheelchair made me feel safe…and then he stood up. He told me nobody called her Lilac but him. He must have hit me because the next thing I know, I wake up in a cave with him there, just watching me. I didn’t realize he had Capone and Star there at first. Not until he got a phone call. I’m guessingthat was Pig, but I don’t know for sure. Whatever he said to him pissed him off. He?—”
She starts shaking, so Havoc changes tactics. “How did you get out of your cuffs?”
“I was never cuffed. Michael knew I wouldn’t leave Star behind, and he’d shackled her to Capone.”
“Do you know how they got there?”
“Pig. He knew where Star went to school and where we usually parked. Capone put drinks for them both in the car, and when he went to collect Star from her classroom, Pig slipped something into it to knock them both out. He must have brought them to the cave, probably before I even bumped into him at therapy.”
She shakes her head and drifts off a little, staring into space. “He saved her, you know. Whatever Pig said to Michael on the phone set him off. He was going to keep me and send Star back in pieces to teach you a lesson. He would trade me for Lil, and that was it. Star was the punishment. He didn’t believe Lil was dead. I couldn’t make him understand. And then after the phone call, he flipped. He shot at Star twice and left. I thought she was dead. It was so fucking dark I didn’t know Capone was even there until I realized he’d wrapped himself around her.”
Circus tugs her head to his chest when she starts crying, his eyes damp with emotion. We all sit and wait it out as she cries a river for a man who sacrificed himself for the little girl who came to mean so much to all of us.
When she has her crying under control, I hand her a tissue from the box Amity throws my way.
“I tried to stop the bleeding, but there was too much. He told me to run, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. He told me about a knife in his boot, and I found it. And then I went out of the cave to see if I could figure out where we were, but I didn’t want to go too far.”
She glances down at Star. “When I came back, she was singing to him. He was smiling, but I knew he was gone.”
“He died doing exactly what he would have wanted to, protecting you both,” Circus says, his voice hoarse.
“I know. He told me. And then…” She looks around, unsure.
“No judgment here, Citi. Tell us your truth,” Probe tells her softly.
“It was like he was beside me, looking down on his body. He refused to let me give up. He knew what I had to do and that I couldn’t do it alone. He made me brave.”
She sobs as I move in closer, reaching up to cup her face. “You were already so fucking brave, angel. He was just reminding you.” I can hear others crying behind me, but I keep my focus on my girl.
“I had to get Star out. Had to keep her safe, but she was still shackled to Capone. I…cut?—”
“Shhh… It’s okay, we know.” Circus soothes her.
“I got so sick, but he wouldn’t let me give up. And then she was free. But then Pig turned up, and it was all for nothing. I tried to keep his focus on me, making him angry so he wouldn’t go searching for Star. I just needed to give you guys time to get to me. But then he told me he was going to rape Star, and I lost it. I don’t really remember what happened next.”
She dips her head and looks at me. “Then there was you, and I knew we were safe. You came,” she whispers.
“I will always come for you. Always,” I tell her fiercely.
She takes a shuddering breath before looking up at Havoc again. “He wanted me to tell you that it was an honor to be a part of the Ravens. He said he would do it again—that ‘there was no scenario, in any lifetime, where he wouldn’t put himself between a bullet and Star.’”
