“Every bit as awful as I thought it would be. Powers is a ball of rage waiting to detonate.”
“Were he and Lil a thing?”
“They were waiting until the time was right.”
“But it never was.” She sighs and lifts up, kissing me lightly. “I’m sorry about Lil. I didn’t know her, but the girls have mentioned her a lot. This is going to be hard on everyone. Do you know if she has any family?”
“I’m not sure. If she does, I’m sure Havoc will take care of letting them know.”
She nods as I help her to her feet. “Take me to bed.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I swoop her up into my arms and carry her upstairs, pausing long enough for Citi to flip the lights off as we go. Once we get to the bedroom, we take our time stripping each other naked before losing ourselves in each other. Each touch of her hands and flick of her tongue soothes the beast within.
This time, when I slip inside her, I take my time, worshipping her like she deserves. I fuck her long and slow, even when she begs me to go faster. When we come, we come together, both of us a sweaty mess.
“Shower?”
“Hmm…” she murmurs, half asleep already.
With a chuckle, I ease out of her and head to the bathroom for a washcloth, which I soak with warm water. When I walk back to the bed, I spread her legs wide and use the cloth to clean her up before pressing a kiss to her stomach.
“Pee, then sleep.”
She groans but lets me drag her to her feet and lead her to the bathroom anyway. I throw the cloth in the laundry basket and wash my cock and hands before Citi stumbles over and washes her hands beside me. I slip on a pair of boxers before tugging a T-shirt over Citi’s head, and we crawl into bed, both of us asleep in minutes.
I don’t know how long I’m out, but the sound of whimpering wakes me up. It’s still dark, so it takes me a second to realize the crying is coming from Citi and that I have her pinned down on her stomach beneath me.
“Fuck!” I roll off her and flip on the lamp. I turn back to her, rolling her to her back. She doesn’t wake, but the tears stream down her face and her legs open as if she’s readying herself for me. Only I know it’s not my face she’s seeing right now.
I swallow the bile rushing up the back of my throat and press my forehead to Citi’s, careful to keep all my weight off of her. “Wake up, baby. Nobody is going to hurt you, I promise.”
She whimpers again, lifting her hips as she murmursnoover and over. I cup her face, ignoring the tears I feel pricking my eyes and whisper to her, telling her how much I love her, how she’s safe, how she’s free. I talk until my voice is hoarse, and she stops thrashing.
It isn’t until I pull back that I realize her eyes are open and she’s watching me. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no baby, you have nothing to be sorry for. It was me. I must have rolled over and pinned you down. Fuck, it’s me who’s sorry.”
“You shouldn’t have to worry about triggering me when you’re asleep,” she whispers, embarrassment thick in her voice.
“I don’t give a fuck about me. I care about you. I wasn’t sure whether I should wake you, leave you, or what. Tell me what to do so I know for next time.”
“Just this is perfect. I don’t know how long you were talking to me, but I heard you. I get so lost sometimes, trapped in a nightmare that isn’t a nightmare, it’s a memory. But when I heard you, I knew that with you beside me, I’ll always find my way back home.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
CITI
Waitingfor news about Jane Doe has everyone on tenterhooks. In the movies, everything happens so fast. But in real life, you have to deal with red tape and an overworked system.
So everyone went about their lives, pretending everything was okay because we didn’t know that it wasn’t. But mostly it felt like they were suspending the inevitable.
On the plus side, Star had settled back in at school and become pretty popular with the other kids, thanks to the cool parade of bikers picking her up each day.
I swallowed down my fear each morning as I waved her off and took my first relieved breath when she was back in my arms, but I refused to let my fear stop her from being a kid. She had already missed out on so much. Plus, the tags in her sneakers gave me extra peace of mind.
To distract myself, I’d thrown myself into studying for my GED and picking up hours at the gym. Once a week, I trained with Amity and the girls. And twice a week, I trained with the guys. After my nightmares had started up again, we’d been working a lot on my being pinned down. It was taking its toll onme emotionally, and the nightmares were becoming an almost daily occurrence, but I had to push through it if I was going to make any headway.
