There’s a restlessness in the academy this morning. We all know what’s coming, what is about to happen – or at least we think we do. But at first, nothing does, and the waiting is unbearable.
Dray finds it the hardest, pacing back and forth, stopping occasionally to rant and rave before starting to pace again. Thorne is quiet, sitting on a chair out on the field that faces the barrier we’ve erected. Fox is stoic, reading books I guess he hopes will help us. And Beaufort is just Beaufort.
They must have faced battles like this before. Although those past battles would have been against demons, not their own kind. The difference must be sickening.
“Should we strike first?” I ask after another hour passes.
Beaufort shakes his head. “No, we stick to the plan. We’re in the stronger position here, Briony. If we attack, we only weaken that position.”
“So what do they intend to do? Just stand around out there in the moorland forever, hoping we’ll what, starve to death?”
“It’s one way,” Beaufort admits, “but not my mother’s usual preferred mode of operation. She’s waiting to see if I capitulate, if her words have sunk into my stomach and turned me coward. Soon enough she’ll realize that isn’t going to happen, and she’ll attack.”
I chew on my lip. It’s too hard to hang around here waiting any longer, so I go to check on Fly instead.
He’s not in his own room, so I search for him in Jack’s room. I find the door unlocked. Jack isn’t inside, and for a moment I think Fly is sleeping in the bed. But as I turn to tiptoe back out, he says my name.
I walk over and sit down on the edge of the bed. How many times has Fly sat like this on my bed, offering words of reassurance or good advice, or sometimes just teasing me relentlessly? Now it looks like it’s my turn to return the favor.
“What’s going on?” he asks, rubbing at his puffy eyes.
“Not much,” I say.
“The Empress isn’t here yet?” he says, shuffling up the bed. “Maybe she won’t come!”
“Oh, she’s here,” I say, realizing Fly must have slept through most of the morning and missed all the news. “And she’s brought a fucking great big army with her.”
“Terrific,” Fly says in a high-pitched squeal. Then he furrows his brow. “But nothing’s happening?”
“No. We’re waiting for them to attack.”
“Right,” he says, his voice pitching again. Then he seems to steady himself. “So what do you need me to do?”
“You?” I say.
Fly glares at me. “Yes, me. What’s that meant to mean?”
“Well, nothing. It’s just, you seemed really upset, and I didn’t think?—”
“I’d be up for a fight?” he finishes. “One of my best friends just died. She was killed because of those bastard demons, and I’m going to make them pay for it.”
“But that was my fault, Fly,” I admit, the guilt eating me up inside. “We broke the magical barrier that protects the realm. We’re responsible for the demons invading that deeply into the realm.”
“Bull crap,” he snaps. “The Empress set you up. You had no choice. She trapped you outside the realm, and you had no choice but to punch a hole in that barrier. You didn’t know the whole freaking thing would be destroyed. And if you ask me, that was her doing too.”
“I don’t know, Fly.”
“I do, Briony. She’s a bitch. Just like Bardin was a bitch. And you’re not the only one who wants to make everything better, you know. My life before the academy wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. I know it was nothing like your life, Briony. I mean, fuck me, your stepmother was a bitch. And as for your dad…” He hisses through his teeth. “But being who I am, the way I am, was pretty miserable in Iron too.”
“I know, Fly.”
“I think everyone deserves a chance to fit in, to choose where they belong, who they belong with. Don’t you think?”
“There’s no guarantee what comes next will be better.”
“It will be, Briony. We’ll make sure it is.”
I can’t help smiling at him. “Clare would be proud of you.”
