“What you doing? You on your way to work?” “Yep.”
Soya clutched her mouth and giggled, until her shoulders trembled, probably because she knew that I didn’t work no damn where.
I had basically turned into a habitual liar, concocting one intricate lie, after another. Too Low thought that I’d developed a sudden case of carpal tunnel, ending my braiding hustle. After struggling to get enough cleaning jobs to secure steady income, I was forced to get an actual job. And that job had me working the weekends. I was allegedly trying my hardest to find something with a better schedule, but these were our circumstances. Plus, that make-believe job was the reason that he had to call collect at certain times. And I usually went to bed super early, after working long hours. I often pulled doubles, after recklessly going through a lot of my stash. So, I couldn’t talk on the phone too late.
“Okay, okay. Did you talk to your boss about getting a weekend off?” Too Low wanted to know.
It had been months since I’d been to visitation, and he’d been pressing me to make some things happen.
“Yeah, I told him, but it looks like the only way to come see you is to call off, and I don’t wanna make a habit of that.”
“I hear you, but this is fucked up, baby. I’m so used to seeing your pretty face. We barely talk. You always at work. That’s why I’m just praying for the best, when I come up for parole review in a few months. That’s our only hope. Cause this shit is for the birds.”
“I know, right? Makes you not never wanna come there again, huh?”
“I’m definitely gonna be more careful this time around. Move smarter.”
“And get a job, right?”
“Aww, main. There you go. Babi, you already know that I gotta get on my feet. Let me do that, and then we can discuss doing it another way.”
I rolled my eyes. “Look, whatever.” “Girl, don’t be that way. I love you.” “I love you too—”
My words were cut of, as Face beeped in on the other line.
I sighed, knowing that I couldn’t put Too Low on hold without hearing his mouth.
“I seen that you added that money to my books. I appreciate that, but I keep telling you to keep that money in your pocket. You’re telling me that we’re broke, then turn around and basically send me your whole paycheck. Sending me the money aint gon get us nowhere. Start saving, and then you eventually won’t have to work so much.”
“Baby, I hear you. I just be wanting you to be straight in there.
That’s all.”
“I know,” he sighed. “You a good girl, Babi. And sometimes I ask myself what did I ever do to deserve you.”
“And you a good man,” I added. “You really believe that?”
“Yes, baby.”
“I guess that I needed to hear that today. I been depressed like a muthafucka. Been feeling like you distant now. Like you aint mine no more. It’s a feeling that I just can’t shake. So, it’s nice to hear you say some good shit.”
“Youhaveoneminuteleft.”
“Damn. I gotta put some money on the phone. That wasn’t thirty minutes, was it?” I sighed.
“Nah. More like ten. So, yeah, put more money on the phone.
I’ll call you when I think that you on your break.” “Okay, baby.”
“Okay. Love you.” “Love you too.” The call ended.
“Babi, what the fuck? You telling all them damn lies,” Soya acknowledged. “Then it’s like Too Low lowkey knows the truth. He just won’t say it. Like he’s playing along with your bullshit.”
I inhaled. “Yeah, I thought about that. He definitely knows that something aint right. But he’s never come at me about Face directly. He even stopped insinuating that I could get tempted. And that could be because he can’t cut o" his nose to spite his face. I’m his lifeline. His brothers and sisters can barely take care of themselves. So, they definitely can’t be there for him, for real. His daddy aint shit. His mama is out in those streets smoking. So, I’m all that he has, which is why I can’t do him like that. He needs me.”
“Girl—”
Once again, my cell rang.
