Breathe, Ziggy…
I couldn’t seem to slow my racing heart or my panting breaths. I felt raw and exposed, like an open wound on a fragile skinsuit before it healed, with no means to force this feeling away. Dr. Micah would tell me to “lean into it”—to start by identifying my emotions.
Panic.
Helplessness.
Vulnerability.
Everything I hate.
“I’ve got you, Zig,” Micah whispered as we finallyleft the city limits, and I could haveweptwith the relief that washed over me—from his words, his calming presence, and the lack of watchful eyes.
Now to find the karnilian.
I mean… the Trol.
It wasn’t farmland we’d reached, but a series of lava tubes, burrowing deeper into the bedrock in various directions. I could easily sense which one Pedro had traveled down and, luckily, they seemed to havestoppedmoving, which would make retrieving them easier.
Since I can’t fucking star hop.
Micah’s high tech glasses had night vision to rival mine, so I knew the lack of light wouldn’t be a problem. We entered the nearly pitch-black tunnel and continued in a silence that weighed heavier with each step, like a ticking clock counting down the seconds until my talkative mate couldn’t take it any longer.
“Zig, are you sure we’re going the right way?—”
“Of course I’m sure!” I barked, sharper than I meant to, but my tone didn’t discourage the one creature in all the galaxies who could match me.
“Howdo you know?” Micah asked, quieter this time, abruptly stopping in his tracks.
Fuck.
I stopped as well, because even with the karnilianmindlessly dragging me forward, the invisible string connecting me to my stellar collisionwas stronger.
“Because I can smell them, the same as when I track you,” I lied again.
I lied, because the thought of Micah keeping me away from Pedro felt like a tendril to my borrowed heart.
“Fine.” My stellar collision turned away too fast for me to properly read his expression, although the spike of anguish in our bond was crystal clear. “Let’s just find our baby.”
Our baby.
He wants that too…
Confessing my deepest desires to my mate earlier had been shockingly painless. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, because there was always unconditional acceptance waiting for me when it came to my mate.
The worst part was knowingthe same would happen in this instance. I should simplytellMicah what was troubling me about Pedro, because he wouldn’t judge. If anything, he would offer a solution—multiplesolutions, probably along with his support. Yet I still couldn’t bring myself to admit how much control this ridiculous gemstone had over me.
It’s making me weak.
A Stellarian is never weak.
With a growl, I stalked onward, fueled by the familiar well of self-loathing bubbling up to the surface.
“Karnilian conquers planets. At least, it has the potential to… in the right hands.”
Or the wrong ones…
Like me.
