When Wyatt dropped me off after our date, I was on cloud nine. I was sore in the best places, satisfied in a way I hadn’t been in a very long time, and second-guessing myself in the best way.
Maybe I could have it all.
Then Sunday morning rolled around, and I checked my email to find that word had gotten around about my business.
“How much to ship to Toronto?”
“Can you have one ready by Friday?”
And then there were the orders. My seventeen orders were now thirty-two. This was a problem I never saw coming. No one thinks their business is going to do too well.
Fuck.
Before I could panic too hard, Ben came down the stairs. “Hey Mom, I need to get my tux for prom, and order a corsage for my date.”
“Morning to you, too.”
He put some bread into the toaster. “Morning! Oh, and my tuition deposit is due at the college, and I can’t figure out how topay it online. They have a weird transfer system that makes no sense. Can you have a look? The deposit is due tomorrow.”
“Yeah, no problem.” The words didn’t match the swirling in my gut. I had to get these nightstands done; I had to answer the emails, I had shifts this week at the diner, and of course my son came first.
I took a deep breath and did what moms do. I shoved my overwhelm aside and got shit done. “Make an appointment to get fitted for a tux. Try for Tuesday because I don’t work at the diner, so you can take my car. Find out what color your date’s dress is, then we can order a corsage to match. Call the college, and use my credit card to pay the deposit.”
“Thanks, Mom,” he said around a bite of toast.
I snatched a piece of paper from my notebook and started making a to-do list. I needed groceries, to put money on my credit card for the tuition, to make sure I booked the day of the prom off so I could see my only son go off to the big dance. I needed more supplies to do the nightstands. The list kept going, and nowhere on it was there a sweet man with hair that fell in his eyes and a smile that brought one to my face.
I ran a hand through my hair and headed to the garage. I didn’t have time to dwell on that right now; I had shit to do.
I spent every waking minute that I wasn’t busy with work or Ben in the garage or doing supply runs to Springwood.
Wyatt texted me a few times, and I felt awful about how long it took me to reply. All I sent him was a few words in reply. I didn’t want to give him up, I really didn’t, but I didn’t see how I could keep him either. He deserved someone as thoughtful and giving as he was, and I just didn’t know how to be that person and still keep my life going.
Every time I finished an order, more had come in, and my to-do list kept growing.
I had to research shipping costs. I was looking into whether I could send them out unassembled with the hardware and instructions.
People were asking about different colors of stains or custom paint jobs, hardware options. This was so much bigger than I was ready for, and I couldn’t think about the big picture when I had a stack of order confirmations in front of me that needed to be filled.
Thursday after dinner my phone rang, and Wyatt’s name flashed across the screen. I hesitated before picking it up. In my mind, if I didn’t say the words and tell him I couldn’t do this with him, then it wasn’t true, but I couldn’t avoid this forever.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey, you seemed too busy to text this week, so I wanted to call.”
I ran a hand through my hair and realized I needed to wash it. “Yeah, I got a flood of orders for more night stands, I barely have time to eat or sleep, and Ben has some stuff to do for graduation and…”
“And you don’t have time for another thing in your life right now.”
It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. “Yeah, that is about what it comes down to.”
I chewed the side of my lip, not sure if I should take back everything I said and go see him, or crawl into a corner and cry.
I wanted it all. I wanted my cake and to eat it too. The fact that I couldn’t had never been an issue before, but now, faced with losing Wyatt, I wanted to throw a tantrum like a toddler about how unfair it all was.
“I’m sorry.”
“Look, Vera, I understand you have a lot going on, and it sounds like things are chaotic for you right now. I won’t reach out if you don’t want me to. I don’t want you to feel likeI’m something on your to-do list that you have to stress about getting to.”
