She squeezed her eyes tight and felt her body sway, almost dizzy.
Then she gasped as his arms wrapped around her like bands of steel.
"I'm not going to let you walk away just because you think I could get hurt."
She tried to block his voice out of her ears, but it was impossible.
Even if she could lift her hands up and cover her ears, his voice, the voice that she loved more than anyone else, would find a way into her ears.
Why did this have to hurt so much?
"Sam, please. This... I'm not worth it."
His arms froze around her and for a moment she thought she'd finally convinced him to let her go.
His embrace was suddenly gone, and she felt her heart break into a thousand pieces.
She wanted to pull away from him, but then his hands were on her.
His palms against her cheeks.
"I'm not going to let you walk away thinking that you're not worth it, Seaton."
She kept her eyes closed, unwilling to open them and risk that she'd give in.
"Please, I just want you to look at me so you can see me." It sounded like his heart might be breaking like her own. "So you can see that I'm telling you the truth."
That was the problem, wasn't it?
She didn't want to see his face because she knew his heart.
She could see the truth in his eyes, and she just didn't want to.
It would only hurt more to walk away.
"Seaton, please."
She steeled herself and opened her eyes.
She told herself it was the only way to make it a clean break.
But when she saw the pain in his eyes, she realized she'd made a mistake.
She loved him too much not to be affected.
"Seaton, I'm a first responder. I put my life on the line every day. I do it because it's a calling. I love it, but make no mistake, while I would do it for anyone in danger, it would be different with you because I love you. If it wasn't my job, I would put myself between you and danger in a heartbeat. I love you, Seaton. Do you hear me?"
She nodded, slowly, laboriously.
CADDO
He knew she was admitting it grudgingly.
She didn't want to admit that she understood.
She might have suffered with her mother and her ex, but she was bound and determined not to put that suffering on others.
If it wasn't in the form of her pushing him away, he'd appreciate it more.
