A sickening look crossed his features, coloring him with a nauseous tinge as he closed his eyes.“Tiny thing?White-blonde hair?”
“Yes.”
“Opal.”
“You know her?”
“She’s one of the two girls that my team…” He stopped and swallowed hard.“One of the girls that we failed to protect.”
She knew that look and pushed a bit of steel into her voice.“Whatever you’re thinking, just stop.She’s alive.We’ll get to her.”
Connor nodded, seeming to draw strength from her words.“Don’t tell the others.If Rodric’s soul-daughter isn’t with them…” He shook his head.“Let’s wait and see what we observe during the reconnaissance.It’s necessary either way.”
“Alright.I’ll follow your lead.”
She wanted to reach out to him, but an odd barrier had grown up between them in the course of the short conversation.She wasn’t sure how to get past it.
A guarded look stole over his features as he met her gaze.“I don’t want you coming into battle with us.”
The statement surprised her given how supportive and respectful he’d been of her.“Do you not grasp the responsibilities of a guardian?”
“Daya, please.You don’t understand.”
Incredulity mottled with anger and hurt deep inside her.“It’smymountain, Connor.Mine to guard.To protect, purge, and purify as is called for.All three in this case.”
Connor’s eyes darkened with intense emotion, stifling her instinctive response to fight back.The brief flash was enough to show her that grief and fear mingled with his pain.
She grabbed his arm when he started to turn away.Memory returned or not, he’d still been through great trauma recently.It poured off him now in waves.
“Stop.Talk to me.”
When he resisted, she stepped into his path and put her other hand on his chest over his lungs.Breathe with me.The silent command hovered between them.She knew by his shuddering intake of breath that he’d heard it through her touch.
After a moment, his rapid breathing settled, and he dipped his head to press against hers.“Why does that always work?”
“It reminds you that someone is with you, caring for you.”
“I’ve been hearing a woman’s scream in my memories,” he explained.“It’s persisted this whole time.My teammate, Thalia.Her mate Jax was with us too, when we were attacked.I heard her soul shatter when Jax died.Felt it in my bones.I can’t—” He swallowed hoarse words.“I can’t let that be you.”
Deep inside, she wept at the irony.He wasn’t worried about her skills or even her getting hurt.Just her soul if something happened to him like it had to Jax.If he died in battle and left her.
Too late, my sky hunter.
What could she give him in response that wouldn’t be a lie?His pain emanated only partially from fear.She focused in on the other part—a pain she knew all too well.
“Thalia knew the risk and decided it was worth the potential sacrifice.That loving Jax even for a short time was better than never bonding with her.Grieve with her when you get home, but don’t take that away from her.She’d make the same choice knowing the end.”
“How are you so sure?”
“Because when you leave, I’ll love you and grieve you for the rest of my time, and I won’t regret a single moment of it.”What she would regret, what she couldn’t live with, was him dying for her.
“Daya.”The single word bled with emotion.
“And believe me, a 500-year lifespan is a long time to live with only your memory.”
“I wish you’d let me fight for you.”
“You don’t understand.There’s no fight to be won.It’s Hannelore’s choice.”
