I try to swallow but my mouth is like Olly’s sandpit. ‘Surely they’ll give you some leeway. Everyone loves you on the green.’
‘Not everyone,’ he growls. ‘Otherwise we wouldn’t be in this mess. It’ll get sorted one way or the other. Don’t worry.’ He reaches for a set of car keys on a hook by the back door. ‘I’d better go. Will you be OK?’
I’m a little apprehensive, but I don’t want any of that to transmit to him. ‘Absolutely.’
‘Right. Time to fold myself into Milo’s Mini.’ He forces a smile. ‘They weren’t made for someone who’s six foot three.’
He heads out of the back door and I watch him until it’s closed.
Seventeen Years Ago
Fourteen weeks pregnant.
‘She’s up the duff.’
‘No way.’ The girl in a black grungy T-shirt stares openly towards me.
‘Fucking slapper.’
‘She’s fat to begin with, you’ll never tell.’
‘Yeah, she’ll end up like a beach ball.’
I cringe as the gaggle of girls sitting at the next table in Sullivans café cackle in bitchy laughter.
Reeni reaches across the table for my arm. ‘Don’t listen to that load of witches.’
I nod. It’s easier said than done, but I know Reeni has had loads of practice. I recognise two of them from my English class and at least one from the year above me. I look down at the straining button of my jeans and try to suck in my tummy. It moves a little but not enough to make my jeans comfortable. I scowl across at them to be met with more cruel sniggers.
‘You look fab. Ignore them.’
‘They’re right though, aren’t they? I’m only fourteen weeks in and I already feel fat.’ I stare at the square of gooey chocolatey brownie on the plate in front of me. Two weeks ago, I couldn’t face eating anything sweet and the smell of coffee knocked me sick. Now I can’t get enough chocolate.
‘Has your morning sickness gone?’
‘Seems to have done one. I’m piling on weight now instead.’ I sigh and push the plate full of brownie away from me. ‘Maybe I should start eating celery.’
‘You don’t look fat,’ Reeni says loyally.
‘These things are bloody enormous.’ I circle my hands in front of my boobs.
‘They’re not that big.’ But Reeni can’t keep a straight face. ‘Alright, they do look like they’re about to break free from your bra.’
I look down at the outline of four boobs through my straining T-shirt. ‘Mum gave me some money to get some maternity clothes.’ I screw up my face. ‘I’m going to get some normal stuff in bigger sizes though. That’ll be OK, won’t it? I’m going shopping with Shannon, are you sure you can’t come?’
‘Sorry. I’ve got something I need to do.’
‘What?’
For a split second, Reeni’s eyes narrow, then she’s back to her normal self. ‘Oh, something Mum wants me to help with at home. Clearing out the garage. She claims she can’t do it on her own because the junk is too heavy.’
‘What about the party later?’
Reeni shakes her head. ‘I can’t. I don’t know why you want to go there, with that lot.’
‘I never get invited to things and I want to feel normal for once. Try and forget this is happening.’ I waggle my T-shirt. ‘I’ll be too fat to do anything normal soon.’
Going with Reeni would be far better, but I don’t want to be the odd one out. The one everyone points at and talks about. If I go to Shannon’s party later, they’ll see I’m still me. I can fit in.
