He wanted to be cleared.
And I had the power here to make that happen.
“I didn’t hit my head,” he confirmed. “I wobbled and scraped my balls, but that’s about it.”
She waited patiently for me to translate, sighed, and then turned on her heel and walked out.
I stepped to his side and rested my hand on his shoulder. “You scared the shit out of me.”
It was only now that the exhaustion from the adrenaline passed, and I realised just how abuzz with fear I was.
He smiled softly and placed his hand on mine. “I’m sorry.”
“What happened?” I askedsoftly.
He shook his head, looking down at his lap.
With my palm, I guided his cheek to face me.
“Sometimes I get in my head,”he admitted, looking at me. His pupils were more dilated than usual. But I didn’t know if Sannier would pick up on that. I only did because I looked into them, dreamed about them, often. “Sometimes when I’m on the track, I make the mighty mistake of thinking. Overthinking.”
My heart started to hammer steadily in my chest.
“About?”
He breathed in deeply and rested his head in my palm.
“Is it the crash?”
He paused for a second. “Partly. Sometimes I have a flash of memory, and I picture it. But that’s not regular. It’s the pressure I put myself under. I need to prove myself. Not just that I’m back, but that I’m better.”
Better as in at racing or health?
“It’s a lot of things.”
“Is it… is it me?”
His right eye twitched, but then he wrapped an arm around my ass and pulled me to him. He swallowed hard. “It’s not you.”
I raised a brow.
“Maybe it is,”he admitted and dropped his head to my chest. “I don’t regret what happened between us—I do regret not telling you. I don’t resent you, I just… when you’re around, I can hardly thinkof dreaming. But it’s not your burden. It’s nothing you have control over. There’s nothing you can do.”
“Maybe I should move teams,” I thought aloud. I’d be on the back bench but—
His head snapped up. “No. No. Please.” He let out a shaky breath. “Please.”
How could I say no?After everything… I still wanted him to have anything he wanted. If he wanted to race, I’d help him race. If he wanted me on his team, I was staying.
I brushed back his hair and leaned down. “I need your help.”
“Anything,” he said on a breath.
“It’s a big ask,” I teased. “It might be too much for you.”
“Nothing is too much.”
I smiled and so badly wanted to kiss him.
