The room was spinning, my mouth tasted bitter, and I eyed the plastic chair beside me. If I fell into it, I would no doubt get her attention. But it would be pity, when I wanted love.
She was talking again, and I tried to ground myself, feeling the cold wall with my fingers, the tightness of my leathers around my biceps, the still air.
The fog in my ears started to clear, then jolted back like they’d popped on a plane when my brother patted my shoulder. “You alright?”
“Yes,” I snapped, but I could feel how unstable my feet were beneath me, and stayed leaning on the wall. “What do you want?”
He cocked his brow, but he didn’t hold my attention. Fia was straightening the paper she’d printed, using the desk as a leveller.
“Did you not hear me?” He shook his head. “I’ve changed your tyres for the race from medium to hard. It’s a bit hotter than we’d thought it would be.”
Yet this room was icy.
Fia made for the door, but before I could call out to her, Benedek said, “What are you doing tonight, Zsófia?”
Her name was Fia to people she didn’t know —and what the fuck was that question?
She turned on her heel with narrowed, suspicious eyes. “Why?”
“Every week before the race, we go out as a family for dinner,” he said. “Seeing as you’re family now, I feel like you should join the tradition.”
Family now.
“You’re one of the mighty Farkas family now. Best racers in the world. Best employees of the racingworld.”
Fia looked at me, mouth open, trying to speak in one of her hundred languages.
How did she do it?I wasn’t smart, I hadn’t done too well at school, and every time I spoke to Mum in Kriolu, my head hurt. She often corrected me when we were alone. I only tried because it made her happy.
English had become a necessity. It wasn’t natural.
But Fia must have hundreds of thousands of words roaming in her head, crashing into each other, and she had the brains to flit through them so quickly, so elegantly, I was down bad the second she answered the phone to her sister in French.
That wasn’t true.
I was down bad the second I saw her.
“You don’t have to,” I said.
“I…” she started, and I knew the problem wasn’t finding the words. The problem was me. “My dad’s in town for this race, and we’re already going out for dinner. Luca set a new lap record today, so… we’re celebrating that.”
Benedek nodded, and when she went to leave again, he said, “You call him Dad?”
She didn’t turn this time. Her voice was clipped. “Clearly.”
And she walked out without another word, the door slamming behind her.
“I always wanted a sister,” he mused. “I knew she’d be snarky.”
I rolled my eyes and collapsed onto the plastic chair with a relieved grunt.
“I was gutted when you were born with a cock.”
He was talking shit as per usual, so I let the words gloss over me.
“She said she’d get those translations done, and she still hasn’t.Does that have anything to do with how weird the two of you are behaving?”
I frowned. She’d sent me the file when things had been good between us, but with how depressed I’d become, I hadn’t wanted to add reliving those days back into my schedule. “Have you thought of asking her?”
