He climbed her, licking her face, and she grinned, screwing her eyes shut. “I know, I know, you’ve always been a big boy!”
My entryway was full of wagging tails and excited pants.
And my erratic heartbeat.
The moment she righted herself and stood straight, she was back to the Fia from outside. Straight-faced, looking at me with hesitation or suspicion.
“Who is she? The woman.” Her voice was harsh, clipped.
“She’s a friend.Just a friend.”
She sucked in her bottom lip, looking over her shoulder at the door. “Just a friend you see two days in a row.”
Did she think there was something there? That I was capable of moving on? That I had even thought of a woman in any romantic way in the last year since meeting her?
“Well, I pay her.”
She almost gave herself whiplash the way she turned back to me. Her voice was shrill, “You pay her?”
“Yes. Well… yes.” How was this what we were talking about? And how was I getting this so wrong?“But I think she’s a friend, too.”
Fia’s movements were slow as she let her bag slump down from her shoulder to the floor. She peered over at the paper on the table. “What do you pay her for?”
“She’s helping me with my English.” I cleared my throat. “I’m much better.”
Fia blinked her long lashes at me. It wasn’t a flirtatious flutter. More shock.
“Your video was very clear.” English. Testing me.
“Did you get the letter?”
She nodded. “I opened it today. It’s why I’m here.”
But then she didn’t speak. Her smile broke, her voice shook, and then she was ranting with watery eyes, looking down and playing with the turul bracelet. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so worried you wouldn’t be and—and I knew, really, you would be, but I…”
“I’m okay,” I said softly and stepped forward. “We’re okay.”
I meant her and me. Separately.
I knew there wasn’t a‘we’anymore.
Even knowing that and seeing her made it hurt far worse.
She nodded again, quickly, as if reassuring herself. When she looked up at me, her lip wobbled, and she stepped closer. “I’m not okay.”
AndI was stunned, mouth open, torn between holding her and asking why. I didn’t want to be cold. I didn’t want to push boundaries. I wanted her to be happy.
But I didn’t need to act because she did.
Just like that afternoon on the dirt track, she threw herself into my arms, looping her arms around my neck, and wept into my chest. “I love this jumper you’re wearing,” she sobbed. “It’s really cute.”
I held her, rubbing her back and dropping my head to her shoulder, and the words slipped out, into her hair, “And I love you.”
I shouldn’t have said it. She cried harder, head buried in the jumper she liked, and I carried her to the sofa, where I plopped us down. She was in my lap, soaking me with her tears.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
She looked up, shuffled off of me, leaving her feet on my thighs, and sniffed. “No. No, it’s okay. It’s okay.”She snatched her feet back, pulling her knees to her chest. “Can I change? I’ve been on a bit of a journey today and… I haven’t had a chance to clean up since leaving home.”
