I couldn’t make a noise, but he already knew my answer.
His camera light came on while he filmed his fingers touching himself through my throat.
“I can’t explain to you how amazing this feels,” he said, starting to thrust gently into me. “How does it feel for you?”
The blood rush, the lack of oxygen, and I was in an absolute haze of lust — broken as he reached over and pinched my clit. And it was no longer a haze. It was heaven.
He pulled out and helped me to sit, wiping at the spit around my mouth with his thumb. “You okay?”
I nodded, my head feeling light and heavy at the same time. I didn’t know if I could talk. “Please,” I gasped and weakly held his arms as he leaned over me. He was the only thing stopping me from collapsing onto the bed. “Pleasefuck me.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. Better than okay. Please.” I pulled myself up so I could breathe against his mouth. “Fuck me like you love me.”
Carefully, he placed me on the bed and kissed my forehead. “There is no ‘like,’ édesem.”My heart.
And he lined himself up, brushing my hair back from my face and planting kisses on my cheeks and down my neck. “There is no ‘like,’” he repeated and started to move inside of me with slow, deep thrusts. “There’s only love. I love you, Fia. Every inch, every breath, every part of you.”
His body pressed down against mine as he worshipped me, his hands covering every part of me, as if I might disappear and he needed to remember every inch that he loved.
If I weren’t still in my haze, if I weren’t worried, I might croak out my own admission so loudly the whole house would hear. I would have said it back.
But he pressed his lips to mine, his tongue to mine, his chest to mine, and I wasn’t capable of words, only kissing and loving.
23
Chapter 23
Fia
Nadia smiled as she signed another grid girl calendar for the balding man before us. She nodded along to whatever he was saying, ‘mm-hmm’ing at the right moments and looking up on cue.
Every other grid girl was in the same scenario.
So I wasn’t needed.
My placement report might have been extraordinary, but the‘above and beyond’Livie mentioned felt like a lie. There were other places I could actually help, so I’d gone to the VIP tables outside by the press tent, where people got to meet the girls and, on the odd occasion, a racer.
If they couldn’t speak English, they couldn’t speak to them.
Enter me.
Now my report would be spectacular—people would write reports on my report.
The bell sounded behind us, and Everly waved her miniature green flag: it was time for them to pack up and return to thegrid for the start of the race.
The men in the queue groaned, but as soon as security stepped forward and told them the race was about to start, they shut up and moved on.
Their void of loud, annoying chatter filled with @Noraaaaa12 clacking up in cowboy boots. Her hair was a shiny, impossible copper in the Austrian sun.
The Prixton table was the one I’d gone out of my way to avoid, but she’d looked over enough, keen to talk to me, and that made me more desperate to keep away.
“Fia,” she said with a beaming smile.The worst part?It seemed genuine. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us!”
I swallowed and tried to slide a smile on my face, but it stalled after a few millimetres.
“Zoltán,” she said, and lifted her phone for me and Nadia to see.
