But Riselda wasn’t finished. “I am excellent at growing things, only not inside my own body. I’d no desire to sacrifice myself to childbearing. I traded for a gallowseed many years ago. I traded for something else that day too.”
Lux hated this. Every word. Her chest tightened in its telltale squeeze when suddenly, her hands were enveloped in larger—warmer—ones. She focused on every point of pressure. Of every rough callous against her skin.
And Riselda said, “When I was ready, I called up what I needed from my body. And between me and an alchemist, we formed something marvelous. I lost my family by the society’s design. I wanted one still. And when I sensed a womb ripe for growing, I used it. You were born early, yet somehow still fat and wailing. The loveliest thing I’d ever seen.”
Riselda sighed while Lux tried to rein in her horror. It wasworse. Worse than she’d ever thought. She didn’t know it could bepossible.But as she stared off into the aged room, abandoned and moldering, she knew if anyone would discover a way it would be the unyielding woman across from her.
Riselda could not be bent or deterred.
She’d wanted a child.
She’d done it.
And now Lux would vomit over her boots.
“Of course,Iam not maternal,” continued Riselda, as if the world hadn’t fractured. “I realized my frailties quick in those first few months. I pushed through, because you were mostly sweet, and I don’t wish to admit defeat in anything. But your parents… They’d wanted a baby and couldn’t conceive. It was as good a compromise as I could make.”
“I’m going to be sick,” whispered Lux. Whimpering, she hung her head over the armrest.
“Lucena—”
“Enough,” snapped Shaw, deep with rage.
Lux missed Riselda’s reaction, and she didn’t care. Shaw’s palm moved slowly and steadily across her back, protective and comforting together. It was intoxicating.
And Lux could not love him more.
Devil’s tits.
She scrunched her eyes closed to focus on breathing away the roiling in her gut. To focus onanythingbut how deeply she felt.
It was inescapable.
How long had she been in love with him?
Weeks,said her heart.I tried to tell you.
But she’d blocked it out. She’d a dream and a purpose and—even more important—she had apromiseto fulfill. She did not have the capacity to also deal with something so altering.
Except now she’d gone and acknowledged it, and it could not be undone.
She, Lux Thorn, was in love with Shaw Roser, and damn itallshe’d never felt so vulnerable in all her life. A yawning fear opened in her chest. She felt like she’d suddenly been turned to glass. If anything happened to him because of her…
Her eyes flew open when something met her clenched fist. Lux squinted at the biscuit pressing against her thumb.
“They’re not so old,” said Riselda. “I would whip you up a tonic, but I think you only need something in your stomach.”
Lux hissed and swatted it away. It hit the fraying rug and collapsed into a mess of crumbs.
Another biscuit appeared, nudging her hand. Lux’s stomach protested again, but this time, with food so near, she realized that while what Riselda had confided did sicken her…she’d also hardly eaten dinner.
Her jaw tightened as her hand unclenched. She took the biscuit from Riselda’s outstretched fingers and didn’t bother to thank her.
Nibbling at a corner, her nose wrinkled. It tasted like herbs and not the usual ones, but by the time she was halfway through, her stomach did settle. Despite everything. Her glance slid to Shaw, to the endearing furrow in his familiar brow and the concern in his beautiful eyes. She pulled her own away, flushing in an instant.
Yes, despiteeverything.
“Lucena Thorn hurts those we love. Vesperine Grimrook willkillthem.”
