Thebikeroaredbeneathme as the road blurred. Each twist of the throttle was a desperate attempt to outrun the anger and betrayal. Elin. My Elin. The thought of her, her face a mask of defiance and . . . had it been remorse? I couldn't be sure. I'd left before I could find out, before I could do something I'd regret for the rest of my life. Something violent. Something . . . irreversible.
Eventually, the city fell away behind me as I soared up the highway lined by trees and mountain cliffs. The warm air was in direct contrast to the icy grip surrounding my heart. I could only hope it would fill in the fractured pieces. Her actions, whether intended or not, had put my life on the line.
I pushed the bike harder, needing the speed, the raw power of the engine roaring between my legs. Weaving between cars, semi-trucks, and leaning into each tight turn, I knew I was being reckless, but I needed to feel the adrenaline . . . needed something to match the tempest whirling in my chest.
It took no time at all for me to reach the turnoff to Jackson Lake. Without slowing down like I should have, I cut across thehighway, making the left down the road. Few people knew that this place was my sanctuary.
Five minutes later, I pulled into the main lot and parked my bike right next to the trail that led to my favorite sitting spot—a rock outcropping just a hundred yards off the path. After grabbing the black T-shirt I kept under my seat for just such an occasion, I stripped off my destroyed shirt and tossed it in the trash can and hurried over to the rinse-off station that the Vispania family had put in at the trailhead to get some of the blood off my hands, arms, and face. When I’d first heard about Don Vispania installing these, I’d thought it was ridiculous, but we all had public images to maintain, and well, I’d be lying if I said they hadn’t come in handy a time or two. The water was icy cold, but it helped shock my system enough to bring my emotions down a bit. I cleaned up quickly, getting the worst of the now drying and flaking blood off before I stomped off into the trees.
Before long, I sat on the weathered rock overlooking the lake, the water reflecting the sunlight like stars in the sky. It was so quiet and peaceful here. It was a stark contrast to the bloody and emotional mess I was right now.
Elin.
What was I going to do?
This wasn’t about feeding the FBI information to destroy my family. Well, it was, but this felt more like a personal betrayal. The breaking of trust cut deep. She was my Goddess. My domme. The woman I loved.
Logic told me she’d had her reasons. Of course, she had. And I was sure they’d been born from pain, fear, and desperation. That was little solace to my breaking heart.
I stared out over the lake, closed my eyes, and let the warmth of the sun seep into my body. There was no telling how long I sat like that before I heard footsteps crunching through the fallenpine needles behind me. Turning, I saw my sister standing there, her dark hair whipping across her face in the wind, her eyes red-rimmed but determined, wearing the same leather jacket she'd had since we’d been teenagers.
“Figured this was where you ran off to.” Without another word, she came and sat down right next to me, shoulder to shoulder.
We sat there silently, long enough that people down at the beach starting to pack up for the day.
My throat constricted as I forced out the words. "She betrayed the family." The admission felt like acid on my tongue, burning even as my hands finally unclenched, knuckles aching from how tightly I'd been holding them.
Rhea sighed, her eyes softening. "She didn’t have loyalty to the family, Gav."
"She betrayed the fucking family and I didn't kill her." My voice cracked on the last word, shame and confusion warring inside me. The code I'd lived by my entire life demanded her blood, yet the thought of her dead hollowed me out completely.
"Because you love her." Rhea's words were quiet, but she might as well have shouted them.
My attention stayed on the glittering water of the lake as I muttered, “I loved Joel, too, and I still did what Father commanded.”
Her head settled on my shoulder, and I leaned mine on hers. “I know, but that was a different situation.”
My throat tightened. "Was it? Because sometimes I wake up hearing his voice. Seeing his face as the light left his eyes." I dug my nails into my palm until it hurt. "And then I see hers."
Rhea's shoulders tensed. "It's not—" She stopped, exhaled. "I don't know, Gav. Maybe you're right. Maybe it's all just different versions of the same betrayal, but it doesn’t stop the fact that you love her. Maybe what happened with Joel changed you, and nowthat you have found love yourself, you can’t fathom anymore loss."
“I would give anything for you not to have had to go through it, Rhea. I’m sorry for my part in it.”
She put her arm through mine and squeezed. “I know.”
I sat there, just letting the wind and the fresh air settle the torment that was raging through me.
Eventually, Rhea asked, “What are you going to do?”
My voice was so light, it was almost lost in the wind. “I don’t know.”
I stared at the lake a moment longer, watching the last rays of sun dance across the surface. "I should kill her. By all rights, that's what Father would expect. That's what the family code demands."
"But?" Rhea prompted gently.
"But I can't. The thought of it . . ." My voice cracked. "I'd rather put a bullet in my own head."
My sister squeezed my arm. "Then don't. You're notjustthe Owl’s Talon, Gav. You are a grown ass adult with your own thoughts and feelings, who doesn’t have to follow all of Daddy’s rules every second of every day. You have choices."
