“What’s wrong?” Rylie asked when we exited the highway ten minutes later and were sitting at a light. I shook my head and just looked out the window. Rylie let out a long breath and reached over and grabbed my chin, turning me to look at him. “What is going through that head of yours?”
“Why did you shake your head before getting in the car? Did I do something to upset you? Do you not like the dress? Are you mad I pulled you into the closet? Was I too noisy in the garage?” I mumbled, feeling my heart in my throat.
“Lucille Adaline Baker.” His voice was a grumbling reprimand, and I instantly shrank down. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He said, grabbing me by the neck and pulling me in for a kiss. It was heated, demanding, and all things dominating. I couldn’t help but fall into it.
A car honked behind us, and I pulled back. His fingers gripped tighter on my neck as he pulled me back to him and kissed me. The car honked again, and he smiled before turning back to the road and going through the light.
“Why do you think I could be mad at you?”
“You shook your head, and it was the way you sighed when you closed the door at the garage.” My voice was small and tentative, because now I was rethinking everything I’d just said to him. There was nothing in that kiss that felt like I had angered him. But I couldn’t shake that something was still wrong.
“I was trying to convince myself to not take you right there. I was exercising self-control.” He breathed.
Every horrible, violent memory of Justin flashed through my head. The condescension, the belittling, and everything I did, it was never enough. Every memory went through my head.
“You just wait until we get to the hotel, because I am going to show you just how perfect you are to me and wipe away every shadow that just went across your face forever.”
My head snapped to his. “You are supposed to be watching the road, Rylie. Not me.”
“Sweetheart, don’t forget I know you. I saw you with that fucking asshole, and I saw every twitch you would make when he would degrade and belittle you. I had to stand by and watch as he shredded away the self-worth you had. The only reason I didn’t put him in an early grave for it was because you had explicitly asked us to stay out of it. If any of us knew he had been physically hurting you…” He took a deep breath and gripped the wheel tighter.
“On that subject, were you always just standing in the wind, waiting for us to separate?” I asked, half turning toward him.
I pulled myself up and crossed a leg under me, concentrating on ignoring the butt plug because it hit that spot inside me that made me have to close my eyes and breathe. When I opened them, Rylie took my hand, squeezed it, and smirked. “Another twenty minutes, Luce, and I promise I’ll let you cum. Until then, you gotta hold off.”
“Yes, Rylie.” I rolled my eyes.
“As for your other question, no. I wasn’t that guy, Luci.” He took a deep breath and said, “I’ve always thought you beautiful, but you were with Justin. I was with Shannon. We were friends, and that was that. Doesn’t mean that as your friend at the time, I didn’t see what he was doing to you. I just had no right to intervene.”
He let out a heavy sigh, and turned down another main road toward a cluster of taller buildings. I’d only ever been to Chicago a couple of times before, and had always taken a taxi, so actually getting to the downtown area? Yeah, I was completely lost, and had no idea where we were going.
“About a year after Shannon and I separated, I moved out here. You had been rid of Justin a few months prior, and I knew you needed the time and space to heal. As we continued to talk on the phone and when I came out to visit our friends, feelings grew. The more we talked, the more I wanted to be the person you came to for everything. When you agreed to go on a real date with me, I… I can’t explain how hard it was not to get my hopes up.” He stopped at a light, and then looked at me squarely. “To be by your side as you have gone through all that therapy to work on bettering yourself, to reprogram all that horrible shit he had put in that beautiful brain of yours, has been a pleasure. I’ve watched how hard you work, and I couldn’t be more proud of you, Luci.”
I rolled my eyes dramatically, and when the light turned green, he shook his head. “Believe me or not, but you are one of the most amazing creatures to walk this earth. I have never wanted anyone more than I want you, Luci.”
I looked out the window and watched all the store fronts pass by without a word. Rylie took my hand in my lap and threaded his fingers through mine. After driving a few more blocks, he was pulling into the parking garage under the sandstone hotel I had stayed at for the last few trips. The Chicago office, firmly located within the Business District, was only a few blocks from the hotel, and the coffee shop on the corner was a complete godsend first thing in the morning.
When he parked, he didn’t get out right away. Rylie stared at the wall for a long moment. I squeezed his hand and asked, “What are you thinking about?”
“How if I ever saw Justin, I may end up wearing orange for a long time for what he did to you.” His voice was low and if I didn’t know Rylie like I did, I would have missed the pain in his voice. “That restraining order you have is just a piece of fucking paper. It’s not going to stop him. It might deter, or delay, but if he wants something from you, he’s going to come for you regardless of a legal document. I still have nightmares of seeing you bruised after that hospital visit. When Katie showed me pictures, it was so hard not to go after him, because no one deserves to be beaten the way you had been. No one deserves to be treated the way Justin treated you. Give me five minutes in a dark alley.” His voice had turned deadly at the end.
“Seriously?” I shook my head. “He isn’t worth it, Rye.”
“Luci, you mentally spiraled into those dark places in your mind because you thought I was displeased with you. When I was trying to control myself. Even with my hand on your leg, caressing you, you crawled into yourself and tried to make yourself invisible in my car, all because youthoughtI was displeased with you.”
When he turned to pull my forehead to his, he said, “I don’t ever want you to think you aren’t good enough. So yes, I will spoil you. I will take care of you. I will allow you to live your life. But, I won’t try to control you.”
“A little control isn’t a bad thing.” I let the heat of my thoughts come through in my voice.
There was a small growl in his voice as he said, “That isn’t what I mean, and you fucking know it, sweetheart.”
I smiled brightly at him, and he kissed me quickly on the forehead and said, “Now let’s get you upstairs so I can prove to you just how much you mean to me.”
Chapter four
MyhandfirmlyinRylie’s, he pulled me off to a side elevator that led straight to the guest rooms, and not the general lobby. At my questioning look, he just smiled and said, “Yeah, Katie gave me the hotel information, too. I already checked you in. They didn’t question it at all.”
“I swear that girl.” I muttered under my breath. “Just how much did you talk to her?”
