Ruby raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t sleep well, or didn’t sleep alone?”
My cheeks burn, and that’s answer enough.
“Ah.” Ruby takes a sip of her tea and looks annoyingly unsurprised. “So you and Bryan finally stopped dancing around each other.”
“We weren’t dancing around anything. We were actively avoiding each other.”
“And yet here you are, looking like someone who spent last night doing very un-avoidant things with a certain dark-haired wolf.”
I groan and sink into one of the break room chairs, cradling my tea. “I don’t know what happened. One minute I was walking out of the bathroom, and the next minute I was—” I cut myself off, not sure I can actually say the words out loud.
“Having spectacular makeup sex with your estranged mate?”
“It wasn’t make-up sex. We haven’t made up, and we haven’t resolved anything.” I stare into my cup and wish it contained answers instead of tea. “I just couldn’t resist him. I’ve been trying for weeks, and last night I just couldn’t.”
Ruby is quiet for a moment. When I look up, she’s watching me with understanding.
“You know, James and I didn’t exactly have a smooth start either.”
I snort. “That’s an understatement.”
“I hated him. Genuinely, truly hated him. Not just because of the forced bond, but because of everything that came before. The way he let the pack treat me when we were younger, and the things I thought I heard him say about me.” She pauses and swirls her tea absently. “I was so convinced that he saw me the same way everyone else did. That I was nothing but the pack’s resident outcast, tolerated but never truly wanted.”
“What changed?”
“I found out the truth about what he actually said and why he acted the way he did. Turns out there was a massive misunderstanding at the root of everything.” She lets out a short laugh. “I heard him talking about something being enormousand fat, and I assumed he was talking about me. He was talking about my cat.”
“Your cat?”
“The big orange one that lives at the bookshop. He was complaining about how the thing kept getting underfoot during his visits.” Ruby shakes her head at the memory. “I spent months hating him for something he never even said. All because I was so sure I knew what he thought of me that I never stopped to actually ask.”
I turn that over in my mind. Ruby and James seem so solid now, so perfectly matched. It’s hard to imagine them at each other’s throats the way Bryan and I have been.
“It didn’t fix everything overnight,” Ruby continues, “but it gave me something I didn’t have before. Context. A way to understand his actions that didn’t involve assuming the worst.” She sets her cup down and leans forward. “Secrets have a way of rotting relationships from the inside, Skylar. Even relationships that seem beyond repair.”
I think about all the things Bryan hasn’t told me. Why he really left. What he did during those ten years. Why he came back now, after all this time.
“He won’t talk to me about it. Every time I ask about the past, he shuts down and says it was necessary. That’s all I ever get.”
“Have you tried asking after last night?”
“We haven’t exactly had a conversation since last night. He was gone before I woke up.”
“Skylar, I know he hurt you, and I know the last thing you want to do is make yourself vulnerable to someone who already broke your heart once. But if you’re going to be stuck in thisbond with him—and you are, whether you like it or not—you need to understand why he did what he did. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep running in circles, sleeping together and then avoiding each other, until one of you breaks for good.”
“What if I don’t like the answer? What if the reason he left is exactly what I’ve always been afraid of—that I just wasn’t enough?”
“Then at least you’ll know, and you can decide what to do with that knowledge instead of torturing yourself with possibilities.” Ruby reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, and you can handle the truth, whatever it is. You deserve to know it.”
I want to believe her. I want to believe that knowing would be better than this constant state of uncertainty, this endless loop of anger and desire and confusion that’s been spinning in my head since Bryan walked back into Silvercreek.
But the thought of asking him again, of making myself vulnerable to more rejection, makes my stomach clench.
“I’ll think about it,” I tell Ruby, which isn’t a yes but isn’t a no either.
She seems to accept that and gathers up her cup before pushing to her feet. “That’s all I ask. Just don’t let the silence eat you alive, okay? You deserve answers, even if they’re not the ones you want to hear.”
After she leaves, I sit in the break room for a long time, staring at the wall. The tea goes cold in my hands.
