Her voice had grown louder, but Nadine didn’t flinch.
“What do you want me to say, Gemma? You want me to lie to you and say I regret it? I can’t. It was the only way I knew how to save my people—ourpeople. But I also knew you’d win your Trials. You’ve always been smarter than me and braver than me.”
Gemma shook her head.
“It is true,” Nadine argued. “And it’s why I knew I could convince Reymond to hold off on attacking Zion. I never wanted to lie to you. And I definitely never wanted to hurt you. But I was right about you, wasn’t I? You were strong enough to make it through those three years without me and pass your Trials and follow through on killing—well, trying to kill—Rami. And as I told you before, Colton was already loyal to me. He made sure he was on your team so that he could keep watch over you. I never would’ve let anything bad happen to you.”
“Seriously? I got arrested and tortured. Or did you forget that part?” She made sure to lace her words with poison.
Nadine’s face fell. “I know. When Colton told me what happened . . . If there had been a ship docked at Oranos at the time, I would’ve jumped into it and given up everything to come get you.”
“It takes two weeks to get to Reva from Oranos.”
“That’s beside the point. I was fucking livid. I almost blew my cover. But then Colton got word to me they’d let you go, and we figured out a way to get our plans back in motion.”
“You mean your plans to kill innocent soldiers.” She fought the urge to roll her eyes.
A spark of anger passed through Nadine’s eyes. “None of those soldiers in Zion are innocent. You have no idea the things I’ve seen them do or what they’re willing to trade for those high-value, prized goods we in Perileos never end up seeing. You’ve met the Kaizen. How do you think she rose so high in rank so fast?”
Nadine placed her hand on Gemma’s shoulder. “Please believe me when I say I never would’ve introduced you to the Dissent if I’d had any other option. I wish you could’ve stayed innocent and happy in the infirmary. Fuck, there were so many times growing up I wished I could trade places with you. But you’ve always been my priority, and the Dissent provided for us where working in the infirmary couldn’t. I am truly sorry it led to this, though.”
Gemma frowned when Nadine motioned to the markings on her arm.
“I promise you,” Nadine continued, “I will gladly give my life if it means keeping you safe. You have my word.”
Gemma’s stomach knotted. She wanted to forgive her. Truly. And she definitely still loved her; Nadinewasher sister, after all. But Nadine’s actions had led to nothing but pain and agony and betrayal.
“Even if keeping me safe means turning against the Dissent?” Gemma challenged.
Nadine frowned but never replied.
“Exactly.” Gemma’s heart sank, but this time, no tears came. It was as if her body at last realized Gemma’s relationship with her sister would never be the same again. “Look, I appreciate you giving me and my friends a safe place to hide until we figure out where to go, but you and I . . .” She shook her head. “It’s gonna take me a long time to forgive you for what you did. I’ll work in the infirmary and do my part to help the people in this place, but stop pretending like I mean anything to you. It’s obvious you’ve always put them first, so why stop now?”
Nadine still refused to speak, but while her face remained impassive, a small flicker of sadness crossed over her eyes. Gemma’s chest pinched, but she wouldn’t take back what she’d said. She’d meant it all.
Without another word, she turned and headed for the med tent.
Nadine’s need for Gemma in the med tent had been an overstatement. Polly—the other healer—hadn’t needed Gemma’s help with anything, and with just one person stopping by for assistance in the several hours Gemma sat there, she decided she’d had enough boredom for one day.
As she wandered in the direction of her tent, commotion forced her from her mindless thoughts. Many of the Dissent members were hurrying toward the rope rig that Gemma had descended with Nadine. She sped after them.
The first figure dropped into view. It was the same broad-shouldered man who’d helped them get into Perileos—Theo, she heard someone call him. He landed lightly for his size, a coil of wire slung across his back. He scanned the crowd until his eyes found Nadine in the front line.
“It’s about fucking time,” Nadine said, stepping forward to embrace the man in a hug.
The next climber dropped down. She was young—even younger than Gemma—with light blond hair tied atop her head. She’d been the one to set off the distraction. Her cheeks were flushed from exertion, but her eyes sparkled with a kind of reckless satisfaction.
“Lysa!” Christian shouted from across the crowd, pushing through the few people in front of him to reach his sister. Lysa ran into his arms, and Gemma felt a pang of longing as she watched them. That was the kind of reunion she’d hoped she’dhave with Nadine after Gemma had learned her sister was still alive.
Several more individuals hopped off the ladder to the hugs of their family and friends. Gemma turned to leave, her heart in a vise, when Christian’s hand found her elbow.
“Hey, Gem, I’d like you to meet my sister. Lysa, this is her.”
Lysa’s eyes were a vibrant green, and they were bright with unadulterated joy. Without even asking, she pulled Gemma into a hug. “Oh my stars, I’m so happy to meet you.”
Unsure what to do other than hug her back, Gemma gave Lysa a gentle squeeze, eyeing the smile on Christian’s face, a smile that she hadn’t seen in quite a while. The sight of it released some of the pressure in her chest.
“It’s nice to meet you too,” Gemma replied as Lysa let her go. “I’ve heard lots of things.”
