Christian stared at the thermal rug for a long moment. “Bother’s not the word. I’ve spent years making sure I didn’t end up like him, and now here he is, acting like I ruined some perfect future he never lifted a finger to build.” He shook his head. “Dad and I were never close, but . . . I don’t know. It’s like I’m still waiting for him to see I’m more than the kid he traded away.”
“You are. You always have been.”
He looked at her then, and the worried love reflected in her big, beautiful, blue eyes undid every knot he’d tied to keep himself steady over the last few weeks. Even in the cave, he’d forced himself to stay strong, but now, with the chance to breathe and the woman he loved at his side . . .
Christian reached for her hand as if he needed proof she was still here. She let him take it, her fingers cool against his palm at first, then curling into his like they’d been desperate for the chance.
The ache in his chest sharpened, pulling the words before he could stop them. “Stars, I thought I’d lost you for good.”
She swallowed, her jaw tightening. “You almost did.”
That admission landed between them like a live wire. Her chin trembled, and she rested her head on his shoulder. Christian closed his eyes and breathed in the joy of having her so close to him again. Everything else—the hum of the battery lamp, the muted voices outside, the contempt for his father—fell away.
For several moments they simply sat there as if they both needed the pause to remind themselves this was real. Then Gemma spoke.
“I hated every second without you.” The quiet quiver in her voice tore at his heart.
He shifted so he could better see her face and brushed away the still-damp strands of dark hair that clung to her cheek. “You’re not spending another second without me if I can help it.”
Her eyelids fluttered when she sighed. A cord seemed to loosen inside her as relaxation began to take hold. He brushed her cheek with his thumb, and she leaned her forehead against his.
“Stars, I want to kiss you so badly,” he said.
“I was hoping you would.”
His heart fluttered as he nuzzled his nose against hers, tipping their heads up until their lips found each other. He kissed her slow and deep, feeding as much emotion into it as possible. He needed her to feel how much he loved her. How much he’d always be here, no matter what happened.
Gemma pulled away first, tucking her head beneath his chin. Her hand fisted the front of his shirt.
Christian wrapped both arms around her, thanking Illari that he hadn’t been too late.
“I thought when I lost control again, that would be it,” she said, “but when I saw those Systems soldiers, I panicked. If you hadn’t pulled me aside, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I don’t know who I would’ve hurt.”
He kissed the top of her head. “You didn’t, though. That’s what matters.”
“I didn’t because you pulled me back.” She lifted her head off his chest, and her gaze was unflinching. “You might be the only thing thatcanpull me back, Christian. And I hate it.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m supposed to be stronger than that. Iwantto be stronger than that. You shouldn’t have to spend so much time worrying about me.”
“I’m happy to do it.”
Gemma shook her head and went to open her mouth, but Christian placed a finger against her lips. “It takes more courage to admit you need help and ask for it than to try to go at it alone.”
Lysa had taught him that lesson mere days ago. It was something he would learn to live by.
Her shoulders fell as she sighed through her nose. Her gaze traveled to the faint tattoo on her forearm. Christian took her arm in his hand and stroked his thumb across the veins of violet. She didn’t need to be wary or embarrassed. He didn’t care what she looked like. Just that she was here.
She broke the silence. “Will you help me then? If I start to lose control again, will you—”
“I’ll be here to remind you how strong you are. You’ll never be alone in this again.”
He lifted his free hand to her cheek, brushing his thumb over her soft lips. Her skin was still warm from the shower, smooth under his thumb.
Gemma didn’t look away. Whatever walls she’d been holding up since Zion weren’t just cracking. They were gone.
“I missed you,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
