She wasn’t sure if she had the strength to open the door. Seeing anger in his eyes would break her.
Once more, Christian pressed the buzzer and ran a hand down his face. “Gemma, I know you can see me. Open the door.”
She closed her eyes and willed herself toward him. Every muscle in her face and neck were tight when she reached the door and pressed her palms against its frame. She swallowed, then she pushed the button to let him in.
“Hey,” she said, unable to look him in the eye.
He huffed before pushing past her, digging his hands into his hair. “That’s all you have to say?” His back was toward her, but Gemma could feel the rage radiating off him, as hot as the rays from Reva’s sun.
She shut her door and glued her back to it, her hands shaking at her sides. She didn’t know what to say.
What could she say?
Christian turned around, fists clenched at his sides. “After everything I told you—about my mom, about how my dad literally spent every penny he had to get me to Oranos, about the fights—you had been planning to kill the director of Zion. What in Illari’s name were you thinking?”
His voice grew louder. “You knew my dad was beaten for all the money he borrowed. You knew I’d fallen as low as joining the Falaichte to train and fight. My family riskedeverythingto get me here, and yet you still nearly jeopardized all of it. If Rami had been murdered, do you seriously think they’d ever let another person from Perileos onto Oranos again? How many people do you think would’ve suffered because of your choice?”
Gemma’s knees weakened, a sob bubbling in her throat. She deserved his condemnation and disapproval. She knew when she put the poison in that glass that she was stabbing him in the back. That’s why she’d hesitated one too many times.
But she’d thought her sister was dead, and she never turned her back on her family.
“How the fuck are you not in prison right now?” he yelled, shattering Gemma’s bones.
Her knees finally gave way. She slid down the door, hitting the floor with a thump.
She dropped her face into her hands and wept. “I thought he killed my sister. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Gemma...” Christian was on the floor, kneeling in front of her, within seconds. “Hey, don’t—I’m sorry. Please, don’t cry.” He sat on the ground as he pulled her into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of her head.
She’d wept earlier when she was with the Kaizen and Rami, but from sheer terror. Staring into the fiery eyes of someone whom she’d torn apart on her vindictive mission was another feeling entirely, and the emotions were too much. Especially since it was Christian, the kind, strong man who’d wiped her tears, who’d take a bullet for her, who told her she’d never be alone.
She deserved all his fury.
Amid her cries, she tried pushing away, shoving hard against his chest, desperate for him to tell her how much he hated her and wished she would die, but he held her tighter the harder she struggled.
Her resolve broke.
Gemma bawled into his chest, her ribs aching with every sob. All the sorrow and pain from the past few hours—blast, the past fewyears—erupted out of her in one massive explosion. Three years of pain unleashed in a torrent of remorse, disgust, and melancholy.
Her breaths came in too quick, too shallow. She gripped his shirt as white spots formed at theedges of her vision.
“Love, you need to breathe,” Christian pleaded, his voice gentle and quiet. He kissed her hair and cuddled her deeper into his embrace, drawing gentle circles between her shoulder blades.
Gemma cried until her sternum felt like it was cracking, until she had no more tears left to shed. But she stayed locked in Christian’s arms, scared to let go, terrified that this was all another temporary reprieve.
When Christian loosened his grip, Gemma slowly sat up. She knew she must look awful. Her eyes burned, and her face had to be as red as Reva’s surface.
“I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you.” He frowned, wiping the leftover tears from her cheeks.
She averted her gaze. “I deserved it.”
“No, you didn’t.”
She shook her head but didn’t have it in her to argue.
Christian held one of Gemma’s hands, his thumb stroking the skin right below where the ropes had been tied. “Talk to me. What did you mean by you ‘thought he killed your sister?’ ”
Gemma took a deep, quivering breath, her eyes fluttering closed. Rehashing everything she’d uncovered with Rami was the absolute last thing she wanted to do, but Christian deserved the truth.
