Though it was late, the dormitory was bustling with energy when Gemma found the strength to emerge from the locker room. She knew she looked awful. Every bone in her body felt shattered and glued back together in the wrong places. Her knees ached from where they’d hit the shower floor, and the throbbing in her palm was brutal.
Luckily, there had been some basic medical supplies in the locker room, which Gemma had used to close and wrap the wound. But without some painkillers, the agony was sure to last for a while.
What hurt the most, though, was her soul. It was damaged, fragmented.
The unnecessary slaughter of Moriah had cleared her vengeful haze enough that she’d realized how dangerous and brutal this mission truly was. Gemma was so naive.
The member of the Systems’ government who presided over Reva lived on Oranos. Of course they’d have every means of surveillance at their disposal. They had militarized robots patrolling the streets in Perileos, for stars’ sake. They probably even had undercover agents within the Dissent, for all they knew.
It was no secret that the Dissent’s voice was growing louder. There were even rumors that people on the Oranos Space Station itself hadbegun to sympathize. And it was clear that they were looking to permanently stop the threat the Dissent posed to the Systems. The first simulated test proved that.
Gemma needed to be extra cautious from now on. This wasn’t going to be as simple as winning a few tests and killing Rami. She was on the Systems’ radar now. She had to find a way to stay alive.
Christian sat on the edge of his bed, his elbows on his knees and hands interlocked under his jaw.
Gemma’s legs weakened as she approached. She would never be able to tell him what she’d done, or Imara—or anyone. Every part of her wanted to run, to flee Zion and hide in Perileos and pretend none of it ever happened.
Technically, she could remove herself from the competition. There were no rules against it.
But she would forever hate herself for it, not just for what happened to Moriah, but because she would fail Nadine, and, thereby, allow Moriah’s loss of life to be for nothing.
She had to see this through, no matter how much it hurt to lie to her friends.
Gemma stepped into Christian’s line of sight. “What’d I miss?” She kept her voice as light as possible, despite the tightening in her throat.
He looked up as if he expected to see anyone but her, then his eyes brightened, and he rose to his feet.
Christian moved to hug Gemma, but she stepped back instinctively. A deep frown settled onto his face, but he didn’t pry.
“Are you all right?” His eyes searched her face. “When you didn’t come back, we feared you’d been dismissed.”
She swallowed, stifling her emotions. “I’m fine. It was a misunderstanding.”
Gemma tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear, trying to play off her absence as nonchalantly as she could, and realized too late that she’d used her injured hand.
Christian narrowed his eyes, motioning to her wrist. “A misunderstanding led to that?”
Her face and chest tightened. “It’s no big deal.”
He snagged her arm in his grip, turning it in the light as he inspected her wrapping. “You should’ve gone to the infirmary.”
“Why?” She yanked her arm back, cradling it behind her. “Ten years of medical training, remember?”
Christian sighed in defeat, running his fingers through his hair. “Look, just...Come with me before they call for lights out.”
Gemma pressed her lips together.
She should say no. She’d started having feelings for him, and after what happened with Moriah, she needed to fall back onto her initial strategy to stay distant and cold and avoid getting close to anyone. If that could happen to someone she didn’t even know, what would they do to those she’d come to care for?
But she also knew her nightmares would be vicious tonight. The moment they shut off the lights and forced everyone to sleep, she would drown in an abyss of torment. Her stomach churned just thinking about it.
“Okay,” she said at last.
Christian held out a hand to her, still frowning in concern, but Gemma pretended not to notice as she placed her good hand in his.
They maneuvered down one of the halls that branched off the main thoroughfare until Christian paused in front of one of the wall’s white panels. He felt around the edges of it until a soft click resonated, and thepanel popped out. He lowered it to the floor, leaving a black expanse in its place.
Christian tipped his head toward the opening. “Go on in. It’s safe.”
