But could I beat him?
Was I enough to stop him?
88
Ivy
Rough, warm hands took my own, startling me out of my thoughts. I turned from the balcony door, sparks of electricity running through my body.
The last of my bonds. Deep in my chest where my magic usually lay, I felt ittap-tap-tapat the ancient runes keeping it locked away. The simple touch offered by Thor had the once indestructible magic crawling out of its cage, begging for more.
Like it knew he was the last one. The key to unlock it entirely.
Thor wasn’t looking at my face; his eyes were on our hands—mine trapped between his, held reverently, like if he released me, I might disappear. There was a softness in his gaze that had my breath lodging in my throat.
Are you okay?I asked, turning to him fully, leaving the dark, threatening sky behind.
The bear shifter finally looked up, brows furrowed.Why have you not come to me yet about the bond?
I stiffened, heart pounding. My stomach twisted, a knot forming in my throat as I tried to swallow. I wasn’t even sure how to respond. The question should have had a clear answer, but it’d been twenty-four hours since I completed the bond with Xerxes, and we were less than four days from the eclipse.
Four days until we went to war.
I didn’t have a good reason, except for uncertainty.
You spent your whole life trapped in your shifted form, I replied carefully, covering our joined hands with mine, fingers brushing the deep, old scars that lined his knuckles.I guess I’m not sure if you’re completely aware of what will happen if we complete the bond. If you even know what that means.
Thor met my stare. The look in his eyes was one I couldn’t read; they were clouded with questions I probably couldn’t answer.
Was I not giving him enough credit? He’d assured me he knew what this meant—what needed to happen. But that didn’t mean he knew what completing the bond really entailed. It didn’t mean he was ready for that kind of commitment, especially after decades spent in a cage, trapped in another form.
That is for me to decide, he said, his voice soft.
My cheeks heated as I ducked my head, taking in our hands. “I’m sorry,” I said, clearing my throat. “I shouldn’t?—”
If you are worried that I don’t understand, then talk to me.
I allowed myself to look up and meet his stare again. “I should have spoken to you—privately. The discussion we had before where I asked if you were ready should have included talking to you about it.” Swallowing hard, I stepped towards him, feeling the heavy warmth of his body soak into mine. “But I really, really want to know if you’re sure about this, Thor. You deserve a chance to actuallylive.”
What if this is how I want to live?he asked honestly, cocking his head. There was a fire in his eyes that made me shiver, a burning promise in them I couldn’t read. And yet…
“Are you sure?” I asked, searching his expression for any sign of hesitation. “I mean it. Like I said to Xerxes, this is forever. There is no going back. And you…you deserve so much more. After everything you’ve gone through, you should have freedom. Experiences. And I don’t know if I can give you all of that.”
Those final words left like glass as they left my lips, harsh and broken in my own ears.
Decades in a cage meant he’d known nothing else. Like Elias, he’d probably been born in Dante’s compound.
I didn’t want to be the reason he never had certain experiences. Why he never got to do the things other creatures around him did. For a moment, it felt like I was taking another choice from him, stealing another decision he was supposed to be able to make on his own.
Thor dropped his forehead to mine, the movement so gentle it brought tears to my eyes.I lived an entire lifetime in the cage,he said softly,and for years, I begged for death. I thought it would be the only way I could be free of the torture, the bloodshed. I wanted away from it all, and I thought death was my only escape.
My eyes closed as I tried to stop tears from falling, tears that felt entirely selfish and not mine to shed. But my heart ached for him, cracking at the memory of losing him. The reminder of Hawk’s words when he said Thor was okay with dying, that he would find peace, ripped me apart all over again.
And then you crossed my path,he continued, the words taking my breath away,and I felt something change within me. He wanted to use me as a weapon against you. Wanted me to hurt you. But when I saw you for the first time, I felt like I was finally waking to the world around me.Youwoke me up, my dear mate. You are the reason I fought to escape when I thought death would be my only release.
I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat, unable to form real words. If I tried, I knew I would break. Would crumble into his arms, and that wasn’t fair.
I don’t see a future without you in it, he added.Before you, I thought I had nothing. And now…I cannot live on without you.
