My mate shook his head and cupped my cheeks, eyes a little brighter. The anger from earlier eased, but I doubted he would get over the shock of learning something so monumental. I wouldn’t.
Gently, Rowan pressed his lips against mine. “I love you,” he murmured, resting his forehead against mine. “I know I haven’t shown it much lately. But I love you so fucking much. It doesn’t matter who thatCharmis. It changes nothing for me.”
A chill rolled down my spine as I brought my hands to his chest, feeling the warmth of his body, the beat of his heart strong under my palm. “I love you, too.”
Rowan kissed me again, this time harder, keeping it slow and explorational. I didn’t have it in me to do anything more, though I definitely liked the way he kissed me like he hadn’t done so in years.
Sometimes it felt like a lifetime since I’d felt his touch. And it was nice to be back in his arms and feel it again.
“Get a room,” Adrian said from behind me, breaking our kiss.
“Or you could learn to knock,” Rowan replied sweetly.
“It’s not my fault Orion didn’t put doors on this place,” my charm mage mate muttered, entering the bathroom. “Anyway, I thought I’d let you know we heard back from Sao. My dad and Lazarus are going to test the waters with this so-called Charm. Get a feel for whether he shares any magic with you.”
Rowan stiffened, the colour draining from his face. “Thanks.”
Adrian nodded once. “Don’t thank me yet. We have the runes. I think someone cut Hyperion’s hand off to get it.”
I gagged, bile swiftly making its way up my throat. I wasn’t sure whether it was the mention of the male himself, the idea of gore, or the thought of a severed hand, but I strode right tothe toilet and fell to my knees, heaving my lunch, dinner, and everything else into it.
Both Rowan and Adrian were cursing behind me; Adrian pulled my hair back and rubbed a soothing hand over my spine, while Rowan pressed something cool against the back of my neck. It was nice despite the burning in my throat. My cheeks were hot with embarrassment, tears burning my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Adrian murmured, voice tight with worry. “I didn’t even stop to think?—”
I coughed hard and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “You haven’t really been around me like this,” I muttered, pushing away from the bowl without looking at him. “You haven’t really been here foranyof this. And it’s your kid.”
Adrian tensed behind me, the hand on my back stilling. I knew I should feel bad for snapping, but tears rolled down my face as cramps tightened my abdomen, preparing me for a possible round two.
“You’re right,” Adrian said, his voice strained. “I’ve been a shit mate.”
I blew out a shaky breath and squeezed my eyes shut against the waves of nausea crashing into me. Goddess dammit, I thought I would have been past this. Wasn’t this a first trimester thing? Then again, we didn’t know where I was in my pregnancy. Had no idea what to expect.
“I think we’ve both been pretty awful mates,” Rowan added, kneeling beside me. “We were so damned focused on the collar that we didn’t stop to consider what you actually needed.”
“Yeah,” I replied, spitting bile into the toilet. “You guys disappeared. And I needed you. I always need you and you’ve been gone. I am so fucking scared of this pregnancy. I’m terrified of what Dante did to me. I still don’t know if I even believe him.”
The nausea swept through me in a dizzying rush. It was the only warning I had before I was leaning over the toilet bowl again and dry heaving into it. Both males spoke quietly, talkingme through it, but I couldn’t hear them over the buzzing in my ears. The cramping in my stomach became painful, too tight, and the tears streamed freely down my face, doing nothing to cool my hot cheeks.
When the second wave eased, I sat back on my heels. Silently, Adrian flushed the toilet, holding my hair back while Rowan gently wiped my face.
My mouth tasted bitter, saliva building inside it. If there was anything left to throw up, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do it again.
“Come on,” Adrian murmured, wrapping an arm around me. “Shower or bed?”
I blinked hard. “Bed,” I croaked, suddenly exhausted. “New clothes though.”
The thought of going to sleep in these clothes gave me chills. Thankfully, neither mate fought me. They helped me off the floor and into the bathroom, guiding me to the chair by the vanity. As Adrian helped me sit, Rowan went to the walk-in to grab me fresh pyjamas.
“I’m not leaving you again,” Adrian promised, helping me first out of my shirt. “And I’ll make it up to you for disappearing. On all of you.” His eyes drifted down to my stomach, to the more prominent swell.
I didn’t need my bond to tell me he was telling the truth. It was all in the green of his eyes. The promise that lay within gave me a level of comfort I wasn’t expecting, but I welcomed it easily.
I didn’t want to push them away. Didn’t want to experience any more of this alone. As much as the last week hurt me, I wanted nothing more than my mate back and to have him be here with me. And I’d give him a chance to do better.
80
Hawk
