A cold chill rolled down my spine as I waited for the inevitable appearance of Nyx. Even though it should have been impossible with the collar and runes, she’d somehow made it into my dreamscape with Orion. I had no doubt she could come to me now.
And if she did, I would finally give her a piece of my mind.
Like how the hell could she hide something so important from me—from Greer? The skull alone should never have been a secret. Then there were the God Runes and everything that came with them.
Maybe Nyx shouldn’t come to me now, because I was more than just pissed.
“Well, it’s a good thing she isn’t here then, isn’t it?” a familiar, light voice asked, too amused for the current state of our world.
I turned sharply to find Sable standing behind me, a wide smile pulling at her lips. Based on a cursory glance, she didn’t look hurt, though I wasn’t sure if that would show in a dream or not. And based on the way she appeared, she didn’t look like shewas in Dante’s grasp, though then again, maybe she’d changed something about herself.
I usually didn’t enter dreams looking the same as when I fell asleep. When I ran my trembling fingers down my sides, I found I was wearing what felt like a t-shirt and tights. Nothing fancy, though definitely not what I fell asleep in.
Though, I couldn’t quite remember how I’d fallen asleep.
“You tried to complete a mate bond with the king of hell himself!” Sable barked a laugh, shaking her head. “You’re on the right path, making the right choices.”
“Telling me that likely defeats the purpose of paths and crap, though, right?” I asked, wrapping my arms around myself.
Sable shrugged. “Sure,” she said flippantly, eyeing me warmly. “But you’re going to fall apart before you’re made whole again.”
“I already fell apart,” I snapped, angry heat rising within me. “I was kidnapped, had my bonds carved from my back, and then Dante put a spell on me to speed up a pregnancy I didn’t even know I carried! A pregnancyyouhid from me, Sable. I broke when I thought Orion died. I broke when Dante’s soldiers decided to punish the shifters for my mistakes. I broke when I found Hawk with his memories wiped and then learned you did something to make him not want our bond. I’ve been broken since the Old World, and I don’t think I can afford to fall apart again.”
My chest ached with each harsh breath I drew in, heart pounding, blood thrumming in my ears. “I am done with the vague bullshit, Sable,” I whispered, tears burning my eyes. “I am done with the hazy warnings and secrets. All it’s done is put me and everyone I love in danger. If we just knew about the skull, we could have been prepared. If we knew about the God Runes, maybe we could have been protected. Maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in right now, hiding from Dante so he doesn’t find me before the eclipse.”
Sable stepped towards me, but I moved back, trying to ignore the hurt flashing in her eyes as I shook my head. “You and Nyx have been playing this game, moving us like literal pieces on aboard, for years. And not once have you cared about what this might do to us.”
“Everything we have done,” she replied calmly, holding out a hand, “has been to ensure you have a future. Greer knew this, and that is why she gave Nyx and me the space to make our moves.”
“It doesn’t feel like I have a future!” I exploded, hands going in the air. Around us, the darkness rumbled, shifting ominously. Sable’s eyes flickered around the room warily, but I continued, feeling my chest tighten. “I feel like a pawn, my life completely decided for me. You and Marion did this to me. Marion stole my choice of when I want to have children, but you hid the pregnancy from me until Dante broke your spell. Nyx put me on this path, making me her Daughter. This isn’t what I wanted for myself! I wanted a quiet life, Sable. I wanted to buy a bookshop with my best friend. I wanted to write romance novels until I physically couldn’t anymore. I wanted my sisters to grow up with a mother—not the ghost of one. I didn’t want my best friend to be dragged into this. I didn’t want any of it.”
“Would you change it, though?” she asked quietly, head cocked. “Would you give it all up?”
I hesitated, the answer on the tip of my tongue. The thoughtof never having met my mates hit me, guilt washing away all the anger that’d been building inside of me for days.
No, I wouldn’t. Not for the world.
As much as I wanted my quiet life, my books and the dreamy bookstore, there was no going back for me. Not with their love being the only thing keeping me alive right now. Not when the thought of losing any of them made me want to fall to my knees. There was no future without them.
The first tear fell before I could stop it. Shaking my head, I released a shaky breath. “I’ve never had a choice, though.”
“Life is full of choices,” Sable said softly, approaching me carefully. “Nyx and I have been making moves, changing things, but we have always tried to give you and everyone else choices. I regret not giving you the chance to decide what you wanted with your pregnancy. I will forever regret my actions. But it was theonly way to keep you safe. And as for your future, it can be whatever you want it to be. Nyx’s power must survive. And it chose you before you were ever born. It needs a chance to choose another Daughter. The cycle will go on.”
I swallowed hard, wiping the next stray tear away, chuckling darkly under my breath. “Then how am I supposed to live the life I want?” I asked quietly. “How am I supposed to do anything when I’m meant to be Queen?”
Sable cocked her head, taking one of my hands. I didn’t try to pull away this time, allowing her to take my fingers and hold them between her own withered hands. “We are at the cusp of great change. Just like when the Order of Emris rose the first time, forcing the birth of Avalon upon the death of dragons, there will be an upheaval after this war has been won. There will be a chance to make a difference, and only you will have the power to decide what happens.Youare the catalyst for that change.”
A chill rolled down my spine, the shift in her eyes making me want to take a step back. But she held firm to my hand, keeping it locked between her own. The mention of Emris had my hackles rising, the name familiar. But I couldn’t place where I’d heard it before.
“It might feel like your choices have been taken away from you, Ivy, but you are still in control over your destiny. I am here as a barrier to ensure the future you choose isn’t the one where you and everyone you love ends up dead.”
I nodded once. “I know.”
Despite the anger, I knew she was trying to keep us alive. That everything she’d done had been to protect us—even if I didn’t agree with the choices she’d made.
“Why didn’t you or Nyx warn us?” I asked, clearing my throat. “About the skull? About Dante going for it? Why make me believe he was going for the crown? Why play around with us and leave Asael to tell us about the runes? Why allow us to go there unprepared?”
Sable pressed her lips together, uncertainty wavering in her dark eyes. “That was not my decision to make,” she replied, voice low. “It was not a decision I would have made, either.There was a belief that keeping you in the dark would protect the majority, that allowing you to learn about it on your own would help you understand the gravity of Dante’s actions. I had no idea about Pandora’s safety measure—though she was smart to leave it. Allowing Asael’s soul to wait for you and confirm what was happening helped you more than I could have anticipated.”
