In the distance, over the rumble of thunder, I picked upvoices. Rowan, Hawk, and Adrian murmuring their plans, working on something to remove the collar. Somewhere, I knew Maeve was hidden away, too. Going through the files on who we knew were working with Dante.
For a moment, guilt rushed through me. They were trying to figure out ways to free me and win a war threatening to destroy our entire world, and I was going to see a male that might not be my mate to work out our feelings for one another.
It felt like my priorities were a bit fucked up. And yet…
I knew, somehow, my power was still locked within me. Had felt it briefly, struggling to come through. I’d sensed it in the cages, felt it rush through me the second night we were here, getting stronger every moment I spent with my mates.
And for a moment, I’d felt it in Damon’s arms as he kissed me.
My heart raced as I moved into a hallway I’d never explored before. There were only two doors down here, and a window that overlooked the front of the manor. One of the doors was closed, boarded shut. The other sat ajar with soft, golden light illuminating the corridor.
I paused, chewing my bottom lip as my heart skipped a beat.
This is a bad idea, I thought, shaking my head.So dumb. I should just?—
The door creaked open, the sound almost making me jump.
Shadows snaked out from the opening, slinking towards me. I held myself completely still, watching the tendrils coil around my feet, gentle with each caress, soft as they slid up my calves.
And almost like they could take control over my legs, I started for the room again, this time without hesitation. The door opened to all of Orion’s trunks, most closed and set aside, carefully placed on either side of the smaller room. Old bookshelves lay forgotten, their shelves broken or missing entirely.
Then there was the large desk sitting in front of a bay window. Damon sat behind it, towers of books stacked high either end of the table. The demon king himself leaned back, expression carefully hidden.
“I didn’t expect you to come after me, wife,” he said, looking down at the table. “Have you come to scold me for my actions?”
I shivered when the shadows disappeared from my legs. “Not exactly,” I replied, which earned me a strained look. “I came here because Xerxes thinks you and I are…” I stopped, unsure of how to finish that.
“We are what, wife?” He rose slowly from the chair, revealing his full, imposing height. Damon was someone to fear; I had to wonder if he wanted me to be afraid of him now.
But I wasn’t. I never could be.
Despite being over three thousand years old, despite being one of the most formidable males in Nyx’s Domain, nothing about him actually scared me.
I kept my eyes on him as he rounded the desk, though he made no move to close the distance between us. “Xerxes thinks we’re mates.”
Surprise flared in Damon’s red eyes, but as soon as it appeared, he quickly tampered down on it. “You and I both know how impossible that is, my Queen. I am not destined for a mate. And you could never love someone like me.”
Those last words had my heart hurting for an entirely different reason. It didn’t sound like he hated the idea, just that he’d resigned himself to it never happening.
“What if we’re both wrong?” I asked, taking a tentative step towards him. A step he followed with his eyes, expression once again shielded from me. “What if we are mates?”
Damon pressed his lips together before chuckling darkly. “Do not give me hope for something that will never be.” He looked at me with utter devastation, stopping me in my tracks. “I couldn’t bear the truth of you being wrong otherwise.”
His words had tears burning my eyes. “You would actuallywant to be my mate?” I whispered. “If it were a possibility, that’s something you’d actually want?”
For a moment, he only watched me, eyes shining with emotions I couldn’t read. But when he dropped my stare, my heart clenched.
For a moment, insecurity exploded within me, so quick it felt like lightning striking my heart.
But then he was in front of me, hands on my face, eyes burning fiercely. “Of course that is what I want,” he hissed. “That is what I want more than my own crown, my throne. I wantyou. And I would give everything up to have you.” He dropped my face like I’d burned him and stumbled back, putting distance between us. “But I made a vow to Nyx and to the Fields. I can’t betray that vow. It has me trapped, and not even you can save me from it.”
My breaths came fast as I watched him scrape his hands through his black hair. The desperation in his words had my heart clenching, but the definitive way he said I couldn’t save him burned. Hurt more than it should have.
“Did Nyx tell you herself you would never have a mate, or did you assume that?” I asked. He stood with his back to me, hunched over the table. “Is that something you told yourself because you didn’t think you deserved it? Because you do, Damon. Everyone deserves to have their mate. Even you.”
The muscles in his back tensed as he chuckled again, even darker than before—bitter. “She may as well have said it,” he said, head bowed, voice strained. “My life is tied to the throne of Elysian until another can take it. But no one is strong enough to handle this power. Thisdeaththat resides within me cannot simply be passed on to another. Not without ruining them. And because of it, I cannot have you.”
A shudder worked its way down my spine. “What does the magic have to do with this? And what does that have to do with you not thinking we can be mates?”
