I hadn’t realised how badly I’d fucked up before by not going to her about this. But it felt so obvious now.
She should never have been left to deal with it alone.
“I was born in the compound,” I said, squeezing her handas she sucked in a breath. “The thought of my own child being born there…it might have fucked with me more than I expected.”
Ivy blinked, tears filling her eyes. “Do you…do you want to know what Dante was going to do?”
I could tell she didn’t want to say it aloud, whatever it was, but I knew it wasn’t something she should have been holding onto all by herself.
“You can tell me,” I said, giving her a nod. “I’m here for you now.”
The words spilled from her lips shakily; Dante’s plan to split the twins at birth by handing one over to us and using the other as leverage in the cages. She explained how Dante had wanted to give us Adrian’s child while using mine as another soldier in his ranks.
It took everything in me not to let the rage out or vomit. Every word had me wanting to fall to my knees. And even worse, all the shame I’d been trying to hide came out in full force. She’d been holding onto this for days because I hadn’t wanted to talk to her about it. Because I’d been so buried in the guilt of not knowing, of not figuring it out sooner and protecting her from it, that I’d ignored what she so desperately needed.
“I am so fucking sorry, Ivy,” I said, voice guttural in my own ears, hoarse with the threat of tears. “I fucked up, and I am so sorry.”
Ivy dropped my hand and wound her arms around me, trembling with her own tears. “I couldn’t let him do it.”
“I know,” I whispered, pressing my lips to the top of her head. “Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is,” I said, holding her tighter. “Not only should I have known, but I should have talked to you about this before.”
Ivy sniffled as she made a choked sound. “It would have been nice to talk to you or the others. I feel like only Xerxes or Thor get it because they were there with me.”
I stiffened, but she was right. We hadn’t made it easy for her to come to us. We hadn’t been there at all, not really.
I’d tried to give her space to heal, to give her room to open up, and instead all I’d done was push her away. It hadn’t mattered that I’d been by her side from the moment she came back to us, it didn’t matter that I’d been her shadow, had slept beside her.
As her mate, I’d failed to see how badly she’d needed me to be the one to open up to her, and that was a failure I would own.
“What do you need from me, Angel? Want me to take you back inside? Want to talk through this more?”
She shuddered, pulling back enough to meet my eye. Tears filled her eyes, ones she didn’t try to hide. “I want to know you’re with me. I want to knowbothof you are. But without the bond, I need to know.”
“Know what?” I asked, dropping my forehead to hers.
“I need to know you’ll be here when I break,” she whispered as her lips brushed mine. “Because I know it’s coming. And I can’t hold myself together anymore.”
68
Ivy
The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, but it didn’t matter.
Elias cupped my cheeks with both hands, brushing his nose against mine as he released a shaky breath.
“I’m right here,” he said, voice so low it was almost difficult to hear him over the racing of my heart. “You don’t have to hold yourself together, not when we’re here. We’ve got you now, and we’re not letting you go.”
The first touch of his lips had sparks dancing behind my eyelids. I leaned into it as he claimed my mouth, the gentle press of his lips making me whimper.
It felt like every other kiss we’d shared and like a brand-new exploration.
I moved my arms around his neck and brought us closer, pressing my body completely against his. Elias groaned, the sound rushing through me, the vibration from his chest giving me a sense of safety I couldn’t explain.
I twisted my fingers in his hair, tugging at the soft strands desperately. Elias backed me into a tree, his hands going from my face to my waist and hips, fingers digging into my soft flesh. I felt a flutter in my belly, a soft little movement that had me gasping for breath.
