“Because I’m sure I’ll need all the help I can get,” he adds.
Good.My curse frightened him.But not as badly as I’m frightened for my sister right now.I stand up, ready to fight him for her.But before I can take half a step, Matteo grabs my arm and holds me so tightly I’ll probably have bruises tomorrow.
For the first time all day, I see a shadow of fear cross my sister’s face as her eyes find mine.But it’s gone in the next moment as she glares at Ferro and refuses to stand.He leans down and whispers something to her after which she does get up.And lets him lead her from the room.
And I realize I can’t help her.I can’t make the fear go away for her.I can’t take care of her.The realization takes all my strength like I’m a balloon deflating.
And it’s all because of the monster still clutching my arm like his life depended on it.I shake off his grip, surprised when he actually lets me go.
“I want to leave too.”
He looks like he’s going to smile, but then changes his mind and just nods, his face a slab of stone.Even the sun fire in his eyes is dull now.Good.I never want to feel the warmth of his gaze again.If I do, I very well might scratch out his eyes.
He takes my arm again and leads me from the room.The crowd of men part for us as though I’m carrying a disease.Which I very much hope I am.
“Our bedroom is on the third floor,” Matteo informs me.
“Nothing in this world will ever be ours.”
He just glares at me, nodding slowly.I have no idea what he’s thinking and he’s not speaking.But I don’t care about anything he might have to say.At all.
He marches me up the stairs then down a hallway lined with a burgundy-colored carpet, which hasn’t been cleaned in so long that little clouds of dust rise under our feet.
A fitting backdrop for us.Because all we leave in our wake is dust.And all we’re heading towards is dust too.All the dreams, all my hopes, all my love I thought I felt for him.Dust.My family.Dust.My life.Dust.I wish one of those bullets flying around last night had hit me.Because in reality, it had.And now I’m alive but dead.And turning to dust.
Chapter5
MATTEO
The wedding lastedall day and well into the night.I’ve been dead on my feet since we arrived at dawn, and it’s only been getting worse.It’s all right for some, snorting their endless lines of coke and washing them down with whiskey.But it’s even more important for me to stay sober now.
At first, guys were ogling Gianna, since she’s definitely the prettiest of the bunch of women that we snatched last night.It’s no secret that Ferro doesn’t much care what happens to the women, so I’m sure most thought they’ll be up for grabs.But Lorenzo kept a very close eye on them.Though I’m pretty sure that was just because he’s an honorable guy and not at Ferro’s orders.I think Ferro decided to spare their lives more to save face and not appear a total monster than because he thinks they could be useful.The men loyal to him are all ready to kill anyone at his command.As long as it’s men they’re killing.But even the most hardened killers usually balk at murdering women.
Though him marrying the younger Codelli woman might mean I’m wrong about his view of the women.
As for the older Codelli daughter… she hates my guts with a fierceness I did not anticipate.And after she laid that curse on Ferro, even I couldn’t look at her the same way anymore.She looked like the worst kind of hag witch doing it.Seemed to age to about a hundred years while she spoke it.She turned into one of those old Sicilian widows, with warts on their faces and a world of knowledge and hurt in their eyes.And after that, most of the men agreed it’d be better to steer clear and get rid of her sooner rather than later.
Devil woman.Witch.Bloody Mary.Those names were thrown around a lot behind her back today.I’m sure she wouldn’t care at all if she knew.Might even welcome one of them stabbing her in the heart to stop her from spreading more curses.
It’s a thought that’s been stuck in my mind like a splinter ever since it occurred to me several hours ago.She’d rather be dead than be with me.And it’s beginning to fester.
This is the work of my own curse—the one that always makes sure everyone in my family never gets to enjoy anything before it’s taken away and ruined—playing another dirty little trick on me.Because I’ll definitely lay down my life to save Gianna’s if any of those guys come for her.No questions asked.I can’t fucking live without this woman anymore.
And I don’t even know why.
I can’t possibly love her.I haven’t known her long enough.
It’s probably just guilt.I tricked her into giving me her virginity and then I took everything else from her too.I can practically hear my grandmother admonishing me for it, telling me I owe it to Gianna to keep her safe now.No matter the cost.As if I need reminding.
That task would be a whole lot more pleasant if she appreciated my good intentions.
But after I practically dragged her up to our room, she stopped talking to me altogether.She lay down on the bed, fully clothed, her eyes daring me to try and fuck her.She wasn’t wrong thinking that I wanted to.I had been thinking about her sweet, soft body all day.
But she lay there like a slab of black marble, without even golden veins, and the hate in her eyes burned so hot I had to get out of there.
I’ve been standing out here in the dark hallway in front of our room ever since.For hours, it seems like.Just like I’d stood in front of her door at her father’s house, guarding her, not so long ago.
All I want is to lose myself in her softness.Let her gentle touches and sweet moans erase all the blood I’ve spilled last night.
