Fuck.
“Oh,” he says. “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to. I just thought…Jesus, did you only say yes because I begged you for it?”
“What? No. God no. I want you, James. Probably too much. I want more of what we do here at night and more of what happened in your office today. Every single fantasy I’ve shared with you, I’d like to give you those, but I can’t. Not the way things are going. Not while you’re my professor.”
His jaw tightens, the frustration clear in the tic I see on the right side. “No. You’re not doing that. You’re not messing up your whole schedule because of me. I won’t ruin your education that way.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re not ruining my education. I’ll take a different class next year.”
“And then extend how many semesters you have left of school? What about your financial aid? Will you have to pay it back? Will it affect what they give you next semester? Will the withdraw affect it? There’s a lot to think about just because we want to have sex.”
“Is that all we want?”
“What else would we want?” he asks, and the sincerity of his question makes my gut clench.
“I won’t risk your career,” I say instead of answering.
“I won’t risk your school either.”
I groan, dropping my head back against the headboard. “Why are you so stubborn?”
“Because it’s important to me that I don’t interfere with your life. If we’re going to keep doing this, you can’t drop my class. Not for me.”
Those last three words trigger all my red flags. There’ssomething more beneath that, and I know it. “Why not for you?”
“What?” His brows draw together.
“If this was for someone else, I could, but not for you?”
“That’s not what I meant,” he backtracks, but we both know it’s what he meant. “I’m just saying I can’t handle that. If we’re going to do this, you have to stay in the class. We’ll be careful and won’t let days like today happen again.” He looks down and away, then back at me. “I’ll be good. I promise.”
Every nerve ending in my body pings at that. He’s so fucking submissive and craves being good in a completely addicting way.
“I know you will. What does that say about me if I’m willing to risk your career?”
“It means you’re taking care of me the best way you can…because I need it. I don’t know how I would have gotten through the past few weeks without you.”
Those words hit their mark, pierce right into the middle of the bull’s-eye in my chest. How do I say no to that? How do I walk away? Because I know him, and he won’t continue this if I drop his class. James will consider that his fault and beat himself up over it.
“It’s only two months,” he reminds me.
“You’re very naughty when you want to be…being so sweet to get your way.”
“Is it working?” He smiles in this way he wouldn’t have done even a week ago—playfully, more comfortable with me, letting me see another side of him.
“I’ll think about it. When can we meet up again? Not at the school, I mean.”
“Do you have plans on Friday? We can go to the house.”
I frown. “Oh, is that not where you and the kids are staying?” I didn’t even realize the room looked different, butthen, he could have been in a different one or changed it.
“No. We’re in my apartment in the city.”
I nod. This is such a bad idea, but I want it. Want him. “Do you have to go to the college at all on Friday?”
“No. I can make it work without going.”
“Can you make it to the house by nine?”
