“Can I put my sheets in the washer and remake my bed first?” he asks, and I swear the simple question nearly makes me blow my load.
“Yes, you may.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m going to stay with you for a moment, okay? Make sure you’re okay.”
He sits up, bites down a smile, and says, “Yes, Sir.”
I talk to him, praise him, keep him company while he strips his bed and remakes it. He puts on clothes to go toss the sheets in the washer, then comes back into the room and turns on his bedside lamp.
Once he’s in bed, I ask, “How are you feeling?”
“Incredible. So sleepy.”
“Okay. Go have more of those sweet dreams for me, and I’ll see you in class tomorrow.”
He nods, eyes fluttering. “Yes, Sir.”
He’s too tired to even be worried about the next day.
Without touching the light or ending the call, James goes to bed.
I watch him until I know he’s asleep, then hang up.
When I jerk off, I come harder than I ever have, wondering how we got to this place so quickly and what I’m going to do about it.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
James
We keep upour routine for the next couple of weeks. Colton and I talk every night. I see him in class two days a week. He sorts out my days and makes me lunch, sticking little notes in each and every one—telling me how proud he is of me, how good I am. I fold them all and stuff them away, unable to part with them.
I do everything on his lists, feeling better about myself for making him proud. I’ve found something special to do for myself each week as well. Nothing big, but still, it’s something for me.
When I was a kid, I loved swimming. I used to dream about having a pool—or friends with a pool who would invite me over—or joining the swim team in high school, but those weren’t the kind of things that happened for me. I used to go watch the swim meets, though, and like on my walks, pretend I was out there. That I’d bring home a gold medal.
We have both an indoor and an outdoor pool at my apartment complex, and I don’t remember the last time I went swimming. It’s what I chose for my activity the second week. I swam laps for close to an hour. The next week, I had to choose something different for my activity, so I listened to one of my favorite records, but I also went swimming again.
I hadn’t thought it was a big deal, but Sir had made me come twice that night because of it. It made him proud in this way that shouldn’t feel like someone is handing me my very own star, but everything with Sir seems to make me feel that way. And speaking of orgasms, those have been plentiful as well. We keep them to video calls the way we should, though he often gets me off by telling me things he would do to me at school…in my office…in a classroom. I’m ashamed of how much that turns me on, so I try not to think about it. He teases me about making me go to work plugged or in a cock cage, but he hasn’t made me do that either. Apparently, Sir is the king of edging, and he wants to make me suffer.
It’s Friday today, and I didn’t go to campus, instead opting to work from home. The basketball I got Nash is on the bench by the door, and as far as I know, he hasn’t used it once since I got it for him. Sir says I need to give him time, and I know he’s right, but it makes me feel like a failure. Some days I wonder if I’m any better than Sandra. When our caseworker visited last night, she seemed satisfied, though, and the kids, despite not being happy with me, must’ve told her they’re happy here, so I take that as a good sign.
The door opens, and I look up from where I’m sitting at the island with my laptop to see Sadie walk in first. Her face is red, and she runs past me, down the hallway and to their room, slamming the door behind her.
“What happened?” I shove off the chair, heart in my throat.
“None of your fucking business,” Nash curses, heading her way.
“Yes, it is my business.” I catch up with him, reach for his wrist and stop him. “What happened?” I’m choking on nerves, trying to bite them down, counting backward in my headfive, four, three, two, one…to settle myself.
“I have it under control. I’m the one who’s helped her through everything her whole life becauseyouweren’t there, remember? I’ll fix it.”
I jerk my hand away. “I wasn’t there becauseI didn’t know. Are you going to hold that against me forever?”
“Yes.”
He heads for the room, and I linger there for a few seconds before following. He can hate me all he wants, but Sadie is coming around, and she’s hurting. I’m not going to let her hurt because he can’t forgive me.
