“I went for a walk,” I say, and see the question in his eyes, know he’s wondering what it is about a walk that’s just for me.
“Why is that something for you? I’m not doubting you, but I would like to know—and you know what to say if you don’t feel comfortable telling me.”
I like that Sir reminds me of my colors, that he wants to make sure I know that even though he’s in charge, I still have a choice. For a moment I consider saying red, feeling silly about the why of the walk and what I did there, but then I think about Sir telling me I’m a good boy, being proud of me, seeing that pride in his expression, and I yearn for it so fucking much.
“When I was a kid, things weren’t good at home. I’m sure you’ve gathered that much. It was only my mom and me, andshe was…terrible, to say the least. Anyway, sometimes it would be so chaotic at home, so overwhelming, that I felt like I was losing my mind. I needed to escape, so I’d go on these walks. I’m not talking a normal walk—I would do it for hours on end…just keep going. I would create stories in my head the whole time, new lives for myself, find this place in my brain where I could create a new me, and it helped. I haven’t done it in a long time. I haven’t needed to, really. Even though things at home aren’t the way they used to be, they have changed with the kids being here, and today I just wanted to walk and clear my head.”
“What did you dream about today?”
“You ask a lot of questions.”
“I want to get to know you. The better I know you, the better Dom I’ll be for you. Now answer the question, James.”
“Yes, Sir.” I rub a hand over my face.You can do this. It’s only Colton. You need to do this to be his good boy and make him proud.And God, I want that. “The kids, mostly. I imagined us closer…that they trust me. That we weren’t separated and I knew about them. That I’d saved them from Sandra long before she died. That we’re a normal family.”
“There’s no such thing as a normal family. We’re all a mess, even when we pretend we’re not.”
I shrug. Maybe he’s right, maybe he’s wrong, but it doesn’t change how I feel.
“You’re a dreamer,” he says after a moment, and I cock my head. “You create stories in that pretty head of yours. I imagine it’s always going, that it’s a busy place in there. I want to help you quiet it.”
The words nearly stick in my mouth, but I manage to admit, “You do. What you do for me helps.”
“That’s good. And I’m very proud of you for sharing that with me. I think you’ve earned an orgasm. I’m even going tobe a nice Sir and let you decide if you want to end the call and jerk off on your own, or if you want me to walk you through it.”
The temperature in the room spikes. My legs shift on the mattress, pictures flashing through my head of being naked in front of Sir, of stuffing my fingers in my ass for him, holding myself open for him and what it would be like if he was here…
“It’s your choice, James.”
This wasn’t supposed to be about sex, and it’s not only about sex. It should be okay if we’re not together, right? If we’re not in the same room, hell, not even in the same building. If he doesn’t touch me, we’re not breaking the rules, at least not to the same extent.
But you want to…a part of you wants to break them.
And then another thought intrudes—what if he records this call? “I… Is it safe? This can’t get out.”
“I would never betray you like that. I’m not recording this call. You’re safe with me, James. I promise.”
Maybe I shouldn’t, maybe this is a huge mistake, but I believe him. I don’t think Colton would ever do something like that to me.
“I want to do it with you, Sir.” My voice has a pleading quality to it, something I only allow myself in moments like these. “Please.”
“I would like that too, good boy,” he tells me, and again, I grin, before remembering I’m not alone in my apartment. That on the other side of the building, two children I’m responsible for are in their room, and I’m what? About to let my Dom make me come when they’re here too? What if they need me? What if one of them comes to the door?
“You’re allowed to do this, little dreamer. You’re allowed to have this. Go check to make sure they’re asleep or at least intheir room, then come back to me. If everything is fine with them, I want you to get naked for me.”
My dick throbs. I’m already hard, eager for what’s to come.
I do my best to block out my doubts, to listen to my Sir because I want this so fucking much. “Yes, Colton,” I reply, unable—and unwilling—to do anything but obey.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Colton
What is itabout James that makes me so wild for him?
I’ve never wanted someone this much, never craved someone the way I do him, and not just for sex either. I want to crawl inside his brain and figure out what makes him tick. I want to learn all I can about him—how to please him, torture him, how to ease the pain I know lives inside him.
This is so fucked, and the best thing I could do would be to drop his class, but damned if him being my professor doesn’t make this even hotter. If it doesn’t push buttons inside me I didn’t know were there.
