Huh. I didn’t know he laughed, something I’ve heard said about me before, which is weird to think about.
“He bought us new clothes,” Sadie says next. “And a phone and stuff.”
“Because he had to. He’s not doing any of this because hecares about us, Sades, and we need to remember that. He got stuck with us just like Mom felt she was stuck with us. He probably only got us clothes so we don’t embarrass him. I mean, look at this apartment. He’s a clean freak who doesn’t want anything sullying his perfect life, and that’s exactly what he thinks we do.”
“He’s kinda weird,” she says.
“Exactly,” Nash replies while I try to ignore the sting of the words. They’re kids, I get that, but hearing them say some of the same things I’ve heard most of my life doesn’t feel great.
“But he’s—”
I clear my throat before walking around the corner, not wanting to hear anything else. Nash is mixing eggs in a bowl, I assume for him and Sadie.
The coffee is already made—I prepare it the night before and have a timer set for it to turn on in the morning—so I walk over and pour myself a cup.
“We can ride the school bus,” Nash says.
“It’s two different busses. Sadie’s school starts after yours. You’ll be late if you wait for her bus.” I mix cream and sugar into my coffee.
“I don’t even know why in the fuck you’re making me go to school anyway. I didn’t go when I lived with Sandra.” He uses her first name like me, I’ve noticed. Sadie’s called hermomthe few times I’ve heard them talk about her.
“It’s illegal. You’re a minor. You need to be in school.”
“What’s school going to do for me? I need a job,” he argues. While I used school as my way out, it’s clear Nash doesn’t do the same. Luckily, he’s able to start as a freshman, so he’s only one grade behind.
He’s smart. It’s obvious he is. He just never had anyone tell him that. He has a lot of potential, and school will give him the best chance to make a life for himself. “You need togo to school. It’s not negotiable.”
“Asshole,” he mumbles.
“I would appreciate not being called names in my own home.” I pop a bagel into the toaster and turn to look at them both. They’re each dressed in some of the new clothes I bought them. It’s clear Sadie and Nash try to do her hair, but neither knows how to do anything besides tie it into a knot in the back of her head. Her hair is beautiful but the texture is just not something any of us have experience with. Clearly Sandra didn’t take the time to learn either. I’ve watched a few videos online but don’t know if I would be any better at it than them.
“We leave in fifteen minutes,” I add, then give my attention back to the toaster as though there’s something I need to do.
Nash complains behind me again but hurries with the eggs for his sister—oursister—and scoops some onto a plate for her.
Right on time, we’re walking toward the elevator, then heading downstairs and out to my parking spot.
We all climb into my SUV, Nash and Sadie in the back, when he says, “Can I go in late today? I should make sure she gets to school okay.”
“I can do it.”
“I’m her brother,” he argues, before getting silent, I’m assuming remembering that I’m her brother too.
I sigh, wondering how we’re ever going to make this work. “It’s your first day. You shouldn’t be late. It’s the first impression they’ll have of you. Sadie has got to learn to handle things on her own too, and—”
“Fuck you,” Nash cuts me off. “I’m all she has. We’re all each other have.”
My hands tighten on the steering wheel, an unexpectedshock of pain shooting through me. “I’ll take her to school. I got you both phones. You can check in with each other.”
The car is silent after that. I pull up at the high school first, Nash saying goodbye to Sadie before completely ignoring me and slamming the door behind himself.
Now it’s just Sadie and me. I have no idea what to say to her. We haven’t been alone together at all. My gaze flicks to the rearview mirror, and I see her sitting there, hands folded in her lap, looking down. Is she scared? Sad? All of the above, I’m sure. I should say something, but I can’t figure out what. “It’ll be okay,” I tell her, and she nods but doesn’t reply.
When I get to the school, I check the time. I’m cutting it close, but instead of pulling up front, I park and get out of the car. Sadie watches me like she’s unsure what’s happening, but I open her door, grab her backpack, and signal for her to get out.
She does, and when we get to the front door, I press a button, a voice coming through the speaker. “Can I help you?”
“My name is James Valentine. It’s my sister’s first day, and I’d like to drop her off.”
