“It’s not what it is because you won’t let it be anything else,” she counters.
I look away, focusing on anything but her words.
“You’re all soft under that hard exterior. You spend so much time being everyone else’s shield that you’ve forgotten how to let someone in.” She squeezes my arm. “Maybe let him in. Even if it’s just through a crack in the door.”
Thirty-Three
Beckett
I’m running on three hours of sleep and a level of anticipation that should be beneath a man of my age and profession.
But as I stand in front of 3B at exactly 8:32 p.m., my heart is doing a rhythmic thud against my ribs that has nothing to do with my cardiovascular health.
I told her I’d be here, so dammit, I’m here.
With a deep breath, I finally knock.
Did I knock too hard?
Too weak?
Fucking hell.
My fiery redhead has turnedme into a teenage boy.
Great.
I’m about to knock again, just to correct my earlier failings, when the door opens.
Yeah. I’m sure of it now. This woman’s eyes can see into my soul and either drive me mad or bring me to my senses.
Honestly, I’ll take either.
Madison is wearing trousers and a silk cami, her hair a wild copper halo. But it’s the footwear that kills me. It’s those big, fuzzy granny slippers.
When she looks at me, I can almost see the armor sliding into place. She’s already building the wall, brick by brick, preparing to tell me that last night was a fluke or a glitch in the matrix.
Oh no. You’re not disappearing on me now.
I don’t give her the chance. I extend my hand, palm up.
She eyes it, one perfect brow arched in question. “What are you doing?”
“Shake my hand,” I say.
“Is this a joke?”
“Shake my hand, Madison.”
She huffs, but her small hand slides into mine. I wrap my fingers around hers and give a polite, formal pump.
“Hi, I’m Beckett. Your neighbor from 4B.”
She stares at me, her lips parting. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Well,” I say, leaning against the doorframe, “considering that when we ran into each other earlier, you acted like we hardly knew each other, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t still suffering from some momentary memory loss. Figured we should start from the beginning.”
She pulls her hand back. “Shut up.”
