If not for that, Philip might’ve relented and helped him. But not after he’d taken the chance of ruining her. “It sounds as if you will have your hands full dealing with it.”
Markus scoffed. The silence drew out as he sipped his drink until at last, he said, “Apparently you will soon have your hands full as well as my father says you will be proposing to one of the Graham sisters in the next day or two.”
Feeling as if his heart were coated in thick tar which threatened to smother its beat, Philip nodded. “I am.” Even if it’s the last thing I want to do.
“I thought for certain you’d change course and court Lindfield’s sister.”
“Why? Because I danced with her once or twice?” He hoped no one knew how he truly felt about her.
“No. Because of the way you look at her.”
Was it so obvious? That he was falling for her from head to toe? He swallowed at the realization of just where his feelings were going. Straight into the palm of her hand.
Had she selected him as a target because of his title, or because of his friendship with her brother? The latter made him more likely to agree to her request for a simple favor.
Simple? Far from it when the time he’d spent with her had stolen his heart.
Had he been a fool to agree to her request? Was he nothing to her but a task to be completed for her book group? Or had that favor been fortuitous and allowed him the opportunity to come to know her better?
All he knew was that he was filled with a terrible ache at the thought of never holding her in his arms again.
“Ridiculous of me to think you might forge your own path,” Markus said then tossed back his drink before returning to the sideboard to refill his glass. “Of course, you are only following behind Oscar as if still in your leading strings.”
“At least I’m trying to honor our family,” Philip bit out. “What are you doing, Markus? Tossing away what money you have on the next hand of cards?”
“You look at your father and brother with blinders on,” Markus continued as if Philip hadn’t spoken, unsurprising since he was never willing to answer for his behavior. “Neither of them was a saint. They made mistakes as often as the rest of us.”
“What mistakes might those be?” Philip pulled his gaze from the flickering flames to see if Markus would answer. The way he harped on the issue made Philip wonder if he referred to something specific.
“Why should I list them when you wouldn’t believe me anyway?” The glare his cousin offered had no effect after what Philip had already been through this evening.
Suddenly, it was all too much. He didn’t want to hear what Markus thought his father and brother had done. Not after what he’d already discovered about Eliza.
“I will be proposing to one of the Graham sisters,” Philip said more to himself than to his cousin. Yet saying it out loud didn’t help him accept it.
“Which one?” Markus asked.
He shrugged. “Does it matter?”
Markus muttered an oath under his breath. “It should.”
For once, his cousin was right. But Philip couldn’t bring himself to care.
The next two days passed slowly as if time couldn’t be bothered to move forward. Eliza pleaded a headache and remained in her room as much as possible.
Only when Aunt Frieda threatened to call for the doctor did Eliza make an effort to return to her life. Yet how could she when she felt as if her chest had a gaping hole where her heart had been?
The emptiness that remained made her feel ill as if she was suffering from a physical malady rather than just an emotional one.
She shouldn’t have reached for Philip. She’d known he was beyond her. What harm could come from her trying? she’d thought. More harm than she could’ve possibly guessed.
Gathering her resolve, she allowed her maid to help dress her and prepare for dinner that evening. Dining with her aunt was a small way to step back into her life.
They were to attend an art exhibition the following evening. At least, it wasn’t a ball and she’d have paintings and sculptures to distract her. With luck, that meant she wouldn’t have to talk to others as much.
She had to try to pretend all was well, something that felt impossible. Especially when the worry of coming upon Philip concerned her. That would happen sooner rather than later, and she needed to prepare herself for that moment. The thought of seeing him was enough to put a lump in her throat.
If she had the chance to apologize, she would. She still wanted to explain that she’d only requested the favor because she cared for him and thought she could make him happy. That she could be a partner in his life and help to share the burden of his title.
