Winston had sent a message asking to meet at the club that evening but Philip had sent his regrets. Seeing his friend would only remind him of Eliza. That wouldn’t help in the least.
His best hope was to keep his mind clear of distractions so he could come to terms with what he needed to do, select one of the sisters, and move forward with his life. Yet the future held no allure.
Not without Eliza.
He shoved away the thought. Obviously, his indecision was making him ill-tempered. That made it all the more important that he choose and be done with it.
Though tempted to talk to his uncle about the advantages or disadvantages of the two sisters, he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He already knew what his uncle’s response would be—pick one and move on.
With an oath, he stalked to his desk and penned another reply to Winston, advising him that he’d pick him up that evening. The distraction of a few drinks and a hand or two of cards would have to do for now.
He paused before sealing the message. He owed Eliza an explanation. And he had to tell her that he couldn’t help with the favor any longer. Doing that much would be a step toward his goal.
When he called on Winston, he would hopefully have a chance to speak with Eliza and tell her of his intent. He owed her that much given what had passed between them.
Despite the plan, the rest of the day dragged by, leaving him far too much time to wonder if he was doing the right thing.
He departed for Linford House early. Winston was never ready on time, and this would give him the chance to speak with Eliza if she was at home.
Within a quarter of an hour, he was waiting in the drawing room. Much to his disappointment, Eliza wasn’t in sight. He caught a passing maid and asked her to advise Eliza that he’d like to speak with her if possible.
Hopefully, the maid wouldn’t be inclined to tell Eliza’s aunt or her brother about his unusual request.
Just as he was beginning to regret speaking with the maid, Eliza appeared in the doorway with a smile. “Good evening, Philip.”
One look at her sent his heart pounding. “Eliza.”
As always, she looked so beautiful. Her vivacity and liveliness were qualities he would always appreciate, and he hoped she never lost them.
“I wanted a moment to speak with you before Winston and I depart for the club.”
“Of course.” Her bright smile slowly faded as she studied him. “What is it? What’s happened?”
His mouth went dry. So dry that he wasn’t certain he could say the words. But he brought an image of his father to mind and straightened his shoulders. This was the right thing to do even if it felt terribly wrong. Wasn’t it?
Before the question took hold, he halted it. No more doubt. He’d made his decision and that was the end of it.
“I won’t be able to assist you with the favor you requested any longer.”
“Oh?” She clasped her hands before her, her disappointment clear.
“I want to offer my apologies for acting so forward with you. I shouldn’t have kissed you when I wasn’t free to do so.” Damn if he didn’t want to take her into his arms and kiss her again this very moment.
“May I ask why?”
He frowned. “Why I kissed you?”
She hesitated, suggesting she would like an answer to that question as well. “Why you can’t continue to help me with the favor.”
He was pleased she’d asked as it forced him to explain. “It was my father’s wish that I marry one of Lord Oxley’s daughters, and the time has come to move forward with that.”
“I see.” Her face went pale at the news. “Philip, I...” She looked away, her upset clearly written in the stiffness of her body.
What? he wanted to ask. Tell me. Say something that will force me to choose you.
Her focus returned to him. “The favor was—”
“Favor? What favor?” Winston strode into the room, looking between them. “What are the two of you talking about?”
