Not for the first time, Eliza pondered the difference between men and women. In her experience, the female gender thrived on those conversations even if they weren’t always truthful. On the other hand, males preferred not to speak of emotions. As if they had none and were never hurt.
One thing Eliza had come to realize, everyone had a story and not all of it was pleasant. Life was difficult in one way or another. The depth of wounds might vary, but everyone had them.
Which made her wonder about Philip’s. Obviously, the death of his father and brother would’ve created a deep chasm. But what about before that?
“I thought you would thrive in Switzerland.” He sounded disappointed to realize she hadn’t. “That it would be an exciting experience.”
To think he’d thought of her at all was a thrill.
“The fault was mine,” she said. “I should’ve tried harder to fit in. But by the end of the first year, I decided it didn’t matter what the other girls thought of me.”
He smiled. “I’m pleased you stayed true to yourself. Too many don’t.”
They turned the horses toward home and rode in silence for a few minutes. But Eliza’s thoughts whirled with how she could shift the conversation to him. Time was running out as they would soon be at his residence.
“May I accompany you home?” he asked much to her delight.
“Are you certain you have the time?” She didn’t want to impose.
“Of course. It would be my pleasure.”
Her heart lurched. That was one of the reasons she admired him so much. He had always been incredibly kind and considerate. She knew from experience that those qualities were underrated and something too few people practiced.
“I must thank you,” she began after they’d ridden for several more minutes.
“What for?”
“The comfort you offered when my parents died.”
His brows lifted in surprise. “Did I?”
She bit back disappointment to realize the moment hadn’t meant as much to him as it had to her. But of course, it hadn’t.
“You were the only one who talked about it with me. You were the only one who told me that everything was going to be all right. You have no idea how much that meant. How reassuring it was to hear.”
He looked more closely at her. “I’m pleased, if surprised, to hear anything I said was helpful.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think you understand what a difference it made to me. Not just in that moment, but also during my time away in Switzerland. When I was missing home and all that was familiar, I could hear your voice telling me I was going to be all right.” She smiled. “You helped me through some dark days, and I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”
“You are welcome.”
Traffic on the narrow street forced them to ride single file until they reached Eliza’s home. She rode to the stables and drew to a halt, preferring to care for her mare herself when possible.
She looked at Philip to bid him goodbye only to see him dismount. He left his horse’s reins dangling and moved to her side to reach for her. Surprised by the gesture, she put her hands on his shoulders and slid off her horse, her breath catching at his touch. He set her gently on the ground but kept his hands on her waist.
The urge to drop her gaze was strong as shyness threatened, but she forced herself to meet his eyes, reminding herself that this was her chance to be bold.
Then he stepped back and broke the contact, taking her hope with it.
“I will take your horse inside, my lady,” the groom said with a dip of his head.
“Thank you, Henry,” she answered, embarrassed that she’d forgotten his presence. The groom led their horses inside the stable.
Philip reached out to brush the forehead of his gelding who nudged him in return, seeming to like the attention. Who could blame him?
Though she expected Philip to depart, he remained where he was, so close she could reach out and touch him.
Her hand did just that of its own accord, brushing his lapel. “It seems I will be forever in your debt. First from the kindness you showed me all those years ago and now to the favor I requested. I hope one day I can return your kindness.”
