“Which responsibilities are those?” Eliza demanded.
She knew better than most how few of those he embraced based on the letters she exchanged with relatives and their remarks, along with requests that she remind him to take care of this or that. At times, he seemed to go out of his way to ignore much of what was expected of him, despite being a marquess.
He gestured in the air, opening his mouth several times before closing it to return her glare in silence.
Eliza heaved a sigh. She didn’t want him to be angry with her when she wanted them to be closer. “I’m only saying he is grieving and inherited a title he didn’t expect. You knew all along that you would inherit.”
“True.” He relaxed back into his chair.
Winston needed a wife he adored, Eliza decided. Someone who would inspire him and make him strive to be a better man.
That was the power of love, something she still believed in despite the lack of it in her own life. Thank goodness for romantic novels, which had allowed her to see the potential of that power. No other emotion could make someone change so they might become the person their loved one believed them to be.
It wasn’t about wanting to change the other person. It was about changing oneself to be better and good enough to deserve them.
Unfortunately, not everyone had the opportunity to experience that. Her parents certainly hadn’t. And those with titles were often pressured to consider other issues first, especially financial ones, rather than love.
Luckily, she knew Winston wouldn’t insist she marry someone only to gain wealth or land or any other reason. To have the chance to marry for love was a heady thought. That chance made her even more convinced to find a way to make Philip see her as a potential wife, not merely his best friend’s little sister. She had to believe that what she felt was the fragile beginnings of love. With more time together, she would know for certain.
Their age difference was a concern only because he would surely think it so. He might dismiss her if she claimed to care for him too soon, saying she couldn’t yet know her own mind. His friendship with Winston was both an advantage and a disadvantage. It might provide more opportunities to see him but also gave him an excuse to avoid her so as not to upset Winston. She wasn’t certain how her brother would feel if he knew how attracted she was to Philip. Or vice versa.
Somehow, she had to overcome both of those issues. Attraction was something she could try to encourage, assuming she was brave enough to do so. Never mind that she still held doubts about her own worthiness. However, the clock was ticking. According to Winston, Philip intended to marry soon now that he’d inherited.
She had the skills and knowledge to be a duchess, thanks to finishing school and her travels. But more importantly, she liked to think she could make him happy because she could be whatever he needed her to be.
She would have to find a way to help him see her as a potential wife—one who was better suited for him than most.
But how?
Lady Bolton had proposed a marriage of convenience to the man she loved. That wasn’t possible for Eliza. She didn’t have anything Philip wanted or needed. Besides, he could have his pick of wives. No, proposing to him didn’t seem as if it would work.
Lady Shaw had suggested a pretend betrothal to the gentleman she cared for. That wouldn’t work for Eliza either. Philip had no reason to agree that she was aware of, nor did she have an excuse to suggest it.
Lady Harriet appeared to still be in the throes of her bold move, so her situation didn’t offer any ideas.
Then where should Eliza start?
She tapped a finger on her lip, thinking over the possibilities. She needed to make him see her as a woman. If he didn’t feel attracted to her, like she did to him, then her efforts would be for naught.
The thought of trying to make him aware of her was enough to make her stomach tighten with nerves. While she looked her best thanks to Nicole, her maid, she worried that wasn’t enough. She feared he wouldn’t like who she was on the inside.
But what if he did? That question was enough to make her want to move forward.
Perhaps it would be better if she found a reason for them to be together so they could come to know one another better. An excuse to speak to each other and learn each other’s likes and dislikes. Perhaps a shared task of some sort, a common goal.
An idea came to mind. The more she mulled it over, the more she liked it. Of course, he could still easily say no. But she liked to think his friendship with Winston might make him say yes.
“What has you smiling?” Winston asked with narrowed eyes.
“A book I’ve been reading.” She smiled, certain her answer would keep him from asking further questions.
“I would’ve thought you’d give up that hobby by now.”
“Why on earth would I do that?”
“It puts strange notions in your head.” He looked at Aunt Frieda. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
“I fully support Eliza reading as many books as she cares to. In fact, you’d do well to read a few, too. Improving one’s mind is something everyone should do.”
