“We could go on community-wide trips like we used to!” Michaela squeals.
Christ, no, we can’t.
We did when five families lived here with fifteen people, and we only did it once. The entire thing was such a mess that we didn’t make it to our intended destination because of all the side stops. I swore I’d never be part of one again, even if it was when I mated with Rafe. That kind of crowd just doesn’tmake for good things, especially if they’re already complaining that not everyone gets enough attention. Those who are not as extroverted will inadvertently get ignored in that kind of event.
“What if you don’t think you can approach them because you’re not part of their little clique?” Rita asks.
“Ah, the clique-iness,” Tamara says, sipping her wine. “Very true.”
Someone kill me now. These two are only worried about who’s popular and who’s not.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, pleading with the beast inside me to calm down. I’d ask my husband to knock me out from afar, but he can’t. However, if a miracle happened, and he did, I would get out of this goddamned kiddy bullshit. I’m certain this is how Sari got Tamara and Rita on her side—she played to their FOMO and jealousy of the ‘in crowd’.
“It’s a big problem here,” Rita continues. “In fact, the biggest—if you ask me.”
“That’s why the trips were great! Everyone was together and had fun!”
Michaela, stop trying to make fetch happen.
I hear my primary laughing in my mind and I snarl in frustration. My rage is building because I’m realizing that people I considered friends were only here for what status I gave them. I want to find some tasty morsels and rip open their guts so I can watch them squirm. There’s nothing out here that I can take it out on, so I funnel it away for later. I can’t have the boys tear the house up inside if I push it along our connection.
Lily raises her hand, and Marina passes the stick. “When I was younger, I envied my sister because of her huge friend group. They did everything together. When we got older, she confessed to me that envied my smaller group of friends because even with the size of her group, she was often lonely. They might have been flashier and more popular, but they didn’t make her feel like she had a place. I wanted to tell you guys this because sometimes we assume people are being purposely exclusive and they’re not.”
I nod. “While it’s true, people will hang out with their close friends out of habit—they aren’t opposed to including others. They may think anyone who wants to take part will ask and have no idea that anyone feels left out. I try to interact with as many people as possible. I’m often carrying on conversations in text or email with many people daily, even while I’m working. Most of them aren’t my family—they are friends.”
Rita gives me a look like I’m an idiot. “Deli, from the inside, you can’t see it. From the outside, it’s apparent.”
Oh, get fucked you bitchy little whiner. I’m not responsible for people avoiding you.
Despite my reaching for the stick to respond, Sari jumps in. “I echo what Rita is saying. When I first moved here, there was an open, inclusive atmosphere. Over time, small groups formed. I work tightly with people I trust more than others and I admit, I get locked into that group blindly. I see how it might be formidable to others. I’ve been trying to peek up from my papers and see others lately.”
I count backwards in my head—first in English, then in French, then Spanish, then Latin, and then Greek. When that doesn’t work, I start the alphabet. The linguistics teacher at the Company has been working with me on increasing my languagecomplement, so I focus on the hardest ones—Mandarin, Arabic, Hebrew, and Cantonese. I’ll work on anything to keep from having to discuss why I’m one of the ‘mean girls’ Rita feels intimidated by.
It’s especially infuriating that Sari is agreeing as if she isn’t the one who fucking started the exclusive family groups. When she opened ‘Dirty Deeds’, it was invite-only—Tamara would have never been allowed in if someone didn’t vouch for her. When everyone figured out how inappropriate she was, Sari tossed the sponsoring member. She couldn’t get rid of Tamara, and since she had a droid, she followed us to the Resistance.
Sari looks down on people more than a WASP socialite in hillbilly country.
“You have been, Sari, and thank you for that.” Rita beams at her.
I want to puke. No, really, I want to puke all over her. Even Maeve is disgusted.
“I’m always willing to hang with people. Being on the council, I have a lot on my plate and I don’t always respond right away, but I respond. I love having fun with community members. There’s been a lack of that lately—even the fun things we plan get ruined.”
I don’t glare at Sari to make my point. Instead, I nudge the flame up on the Tiki torch next to her and she yelps. Everyone looks at her and she isn’t ready with a retort.
Perfect.
“I don’t have the stick, but I’d like to ask something. Whose responsibility is it to let everyone know that they’re willing to hang out? Do I have to remind people at intervals? Why do Ihave to remind them? I’m not the one who’s upset,” Lily asks. She’s getting stubborn, and that means this meeting is wearing her patience thin. She has a valid point, though; if this is all our fault for not doing certain things, who gets to decide who is at fault for the problem?
“Maybe we could mark things we’re doing with something like ‘open’ so that if anyone wants to join the adventure or party or quest, they can?” Tamara suggests.
Lily blinks and laughs. Everyone stares at her and she shakes her head. “I’m not laughing because it’s laughable. I’m laughing because it’s an interesting idea. I wouldn’t have thought of it.”
Absolutely the fuck not—that means they can jump in and do whatever they want with zero oversight.
I sigh, shaking my head as I realize this discussion will not help in the slightest because they don’t want the onus for joining to be on them. “Playing the devil’s advocate because I like the chap… Will people get hurt if no one joins? Will they be hurt if you have an adventure they want to join, but it’s not open? Will someone get upset if they post ‘open’ and the right people from a ‘clique’ aren’t the ones who join?”
My train of thought gets interrupted when the loud beep goes off and we all turn to look as Amanda makes her way up the driveway.
