She looks confused, and I groan as I look to the heavens in a plea I have no right to make.
We’re definitely all going to pay for it, and I have no idea what that will mean.
The Cat Tries To Mend Bridges
DELILAH
What the fuck is going on with my family?
The question vibrates through my skin and bones in a pitch that is a raw, electric frequency that infects every cell of my being. Since the December incident when my beast emerged, we’ve been all teeth and claws pointed outward, but as I stand here in the hallway, all that’s left is a black, gaping mouth full of hurt.
Taurus and Talia were supposed to be our second chance—or maybe third… I don’t know. And I love them with everything in me, but why the hell is it so damn hard? It feels like adding Talia was a grave error that’s too far gone to rectify; it’s a shaky, uneasy thought that means I’ve put both Rafe and I in the position to be destroyed once more.
No, you have to be more trusting than that, Deli. They love you, and him, and this is not like it was before.
The psychic bond that ties me to my mates is supposed to be a strength, but right now it’s a live wire in my brain. Every spikeof rage, every pulse of shame, every barbed thought is magnified until I can’t tell whose feelings are whose. My hands shake, and I dig my nails into my palms hard enough to draw blood for the distraction I get from the pain. I wanted—no, needed—a few minutes of solitude after my marathon gym session, a chance to retreat from the flood and fortify my own boundaries.
Unfortunately, the universe does not allow such fucking luxuries—not for me, at least.
The pull to fix this is relentless; it yanks me toward the epicenter of the current storm with a primal urge to intervene. The anger and desperation in this house are choking me. My ugly black goo feeling—the private pet name for this blend of dread and disgust and fury—squelches through my ribs, hungry for release. But this isn’t about any of them; it’s about me.
I was the one who got harmed last night, and it only got worse throughout the day. They’re all reacting to my pain, but none of them actually received it. Talia said awful things, even if unintentionally, and she crushed my fragile hope that I could depend on my family to get through the community stuff. I cannot depend on her to keep me sane if she’s flying off the handle about whatever buried shit she hasn’t dealt with about my past, and that’s not fair.
Closing my eyes, I imagine my sanctuary in my mind, the one I built to keep the worst of my trauma locked away. Sometimes, if I’m lucky and quick, I can slam them shut before the flood is too strong, but not today. My mind is a breached dam, and the feeling pours through, cold and viscous and crawling. The urge to scream is so strong I clamp my jaw shut, grinding my teeth against it.
“Fucking hell,” I mutter, and before I can stop it, I let loose a small burst of magic that flips the coffee table and everything on it.
The air crackles with violence as Taurus and Talia stare at me. They’re both still gaping at my beaten-up form limping inside, but I don’t care. Thir coffee table is overturned with glass shards glittering on the rug from the glasses. Oddly, my newer mate is trying to look small and invisible, but her fear is a bright, sharp taste in my mouth. In the time it takes me to blink, I remember everything she did and said last night. All of it runs through me in a compressed, high-speed reel, and I nearly stagger from the emotional overload.
Damn it, Deli, you have to get through this and find out what the shit is happening. Get it together.
I barely contain my rage as I stride across the floor. The carpet is crunchy with broken glass under the boots I shoved on before I came. I push my way to the couch, shoving them apart with the kind of strength that only comes from pure, adrenalized hate. I stare at them in exhaustion and anger, my body too worn to be a physical threat.
“What,” I snarl, my voice raw and gravelly, “in the bloody fucking hell is going on?”
My repeated question is enough to freeze the room. Talia’s eyes are downcast as she avoids meeting my gaze. Taurus grins at me, wild and manic, like a cornered animal. I usually find that hot, but not right now. This situation is not fair, but fairness is for people with options, and they’ve left me none of those. “No one fucking move because I’m a hair from losing my shit.”
No one answers me, and I glare. Not only am I mediating whatever sent Rafe running again, I’m doing it while managing my shit with no help. Taurus is still holding onto Talia’s arm as he was when I appeared, and I assume he’s deciding when he’ll spirit her away. I don’t know why, but I don’t fucking care right this minute.
“Will someone please answer me before I goddamn explode!”
Talia sighs, not speaking before she shakes her head. She walks out the door, pulling it closed behind her.
What the shit is that? This all started with her calling me poison as if I kill every joy in people I touch. I’m not the bad guy!
Taurus walks over, dropping down next to me. He leans into my claws, lets them dig in past the surface of his open shirt to puncture his skin. He doesn’t even wince. I don’t let up, looking him square in his golden eyes with my emerald cat eyes defiantly. I’m not giving up on this; I want to know why everyone but me is stalking around dramatically.
“My plan didn’t work so well,” he says, voice dripping with that special brand of resigned fatalism unique to people who’ve been through too much. I stare him down, claws still hooked in his chest, and he doesn’t say anything else.
His non-chalance isn’t helpful right now, and I’m not in the mood for it.
“Fucking perfect,” I snarl, and the sarcasm is so bitter it sours the back of my tongue.
With a deliberate twist, I pop each claw free, one after the next, like I’m unfastening the world’s most hateful row of buttons. He flinches slightly, and for an instant I want to punch him againjust to make something in this house respond appropriately. But I don’t—not out of kindness, but because I’m suddenly, violently tired. The kind of exhaustion that starts in the marrow and seeps outward.
I’m done with all of this sorrow and pain.
I take a deep breath, forcing myself to let the fangs and claws retreat. The aftertaste of my pissed off magic is sour and metallic on my tongue, but I hold it in. “You two deal with each other,” I growl, gesturing at him and the door Rafe exited from. “I’m not in the fucking mood.” I jerk my head toward the hallway, where Talia stormed off seconds ago. “I’m going after her.”
