When he lays me down, there’s no rush or frantic urgency. Just devotion in every touch, every glance, every brush of his lips.
Just admiration.
Just love.
forty-two
AIDAN
I’m wide awake, staring at the ceiling while Lucy sleeps next to me. She’s here. She’s safe.She’s carrying our baby.
My first reaction should have been full of joy and pride…but what came first wasn’t any of that. It was fear. A gut punch of panic. Instead of pulling her close, whispering it would all be okay, I froze like a damn coward.
She called me on it, and she was right to do it. She deserved better in that moment. She still does. Now, as I’m lying here, all I can think about is how to be the man she’s already betting her whole heart on.
I turn my head, letting my eyes roam over her as she sleeps. She looks so damn peaceful, like the world has finally slowed down just for her. And when I think about a baby—ourbaby—it hits me.
This is right. Terrifying, but right. I want this.
I won’t fuck this up.
Careful not to wake her, I tuck a stray chestnut lock behind her ear. My mind is racing. I think of the café, wondering if she’ll need to bring in extra help so she doesn’t wear herself out.I imagine converting the spare room into a nursery, painting the walls a soft green that would mirror her eyes every time she stepped inside.
I think about Isla, who’s going to be a big sister. How will she take it?
Then I think of the way Lucy’s whole face lights up when she talks about the future. The patience she’s shown me when I’ve been nothing but rough. She’s going to be an amazing mother. Hell, she already is.
But…her family. I’ve been around long enough to know they’re protective. If it were Isla, I’d be ready to take a swing at any guy who dared to touch her.
And now here I am. Older. With sweet, brilliant Lucy curled up in my bed. Pregnant with my kid.
Shit.
That age gap that never seemed like much before suddenly feels like a spotlight glaring down. I can already see the way her dad’s going to look at me, like I’m the bastard who stole something precious from his daughter. Her mom, too. And her brothers? If they wanted to lay me out flat on the pavement, I’d let them. I get it. I’d be pissed, too.
What I’m mostly afraid of is that they’ll look at me like I’m the last man that should be trusted with their daughter. Their sister. I know how it looks—I’m the guy fathers warn their daughters about.
Then there’s the fact that Lucy wantsme.
I’ll do whatever it takes to make this easier on her. It might not be my first time walking this road, but it’s hers, and she should get to feel every ounce of joy, every bit of excitement that comes with it. I won’t let my own nerves steal that from her.
I want her to soak it all in. I want to soak it in, too, and ifthat means swallowing my pride and facing her family head-on…then that’s exactly what I’ll do.
I’m an asshole.I did this to her. Lucy is sick—so fucking sick. This part is new to me. Emily had an easy pregnancy with Isla. I had no idea it could bethisbad.
I think back to the past few days, to how quickly I’d moved her into this place the moment I found out she was pregnant. After a couple days, a few frantic calls, logistics sorted, and finding space for her ridiculous, overflowing mug collection, I had her safe and under my roof. Good thing, too, because I hadn’t realized how fast her pregnancy could wear her down.
She’s sick all day long, sunup to sundown. She stumbles out of bed in the mornings, clutching her stomach, unable to keep anything down. By the time she thinks it might let up, it hits her again. I don’t know how she’s still standing some days. It fucking kills me. I hate seeing her like this.
I try to help where I can, but I feel so bloody useless. I’m making her tea, rubbing her back, holding her hair when she’s bent over the toilet. It’s not enough.
Yesterday was a nightmare. Lucy was so exhausted, and she mentioned she probably needs her mum to help at the café while she deals with this “morning” sickness that’s kicking her ass.
“We need to tell my parents,” she’d said, looking up at me with those big green eyes.
I nodded, even as my stomach dropped to my feet. “When?”
“Tomorrow? We could have them over for dinner.”
