I blink, thrown by the shift. She’s sitting on the bathroom floor, depleted and weeping her heart out, and she’s worried about Isla? Typical Lucy.
“No,” I say, my voice low and steady as I shake my head. “She’s still out cold. Don’t worry about Isla. Worry about you for a second, okay?”
Her lip wobbles again, but she bites it hard, trying to hold it together. “I just don’t want to make things harder for her. I?—”
“Lucy.” I cut her off gently, reaching out to brush a tear off her cheek with my thumb. “Isla’s fine. Don’t worryabout waking the house up. Isla’s not the one on the bathroom floor right now.”
Her shoulders slump, the fight draining out of her as she leans back against the cabinet. “We’re going to have to tell her soon,” she whispers. “She’s already asked why I’m in bed all the time, and I feel terrible.”
“Soon,” I murmur, rubbing slow circles on her back.
Isla’s smart—too smart sometimes. She’s picked up on Lucy’s exhaustion, the missed dinners, and the quiet days where she can hardly get off the couch. Telling Isla feels like stepping off a cliff, though. We’re waiting until after the next appointment, just to be sure everything’s okay. But we’re keeping this massive secret from her, and she’s too perceptive.
There’s still the question of how she’ll take it. Will she be excited? Confused? Nervous? Probably all of it rolled into one—it’s Isla, after all. Just imagining her as a big sister hitsmedeep. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to see it.
She’s got this soft, inquisitive heart that makes you believe the world isn’t entirely cruel, even when it’s thrown a few hard punches your way. I can already see her helping Lucy with the baby. Pulling books off her shelf to read her favorite bedtime stories. Standing in the yard, hands on her hips, absolutely certain she’s the only one qualified to teach her little brother or sister how to ride a bike. She’ll be so perfect at it.
But for now, we wait. Just a little longer.
Lucy leans against me, her breathing finally starting to even out. I’m about to suggest we get her back to bed when she stiffens.
“Oh god,” she whispers, her hand flying to her mouth. “Emily’s coming for dinner tonight.”
Fuck. I’d completely forgotten. With everything that’s been going on, it had slipped my mind entirely.
“Shit,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck. “Are you up for that? We can reschedule.”
Please tell me to reschedule. Tell me I can tell her to fuck straight off.
Lucy shakes her head, though. “No, we can’t keep putting it off. Isla needs to see that we can all be in the same room together.”
Damn it. She’s right, but the thought of Emily sitting at our dinner table has me grinding my teeth. Especially with Lucy feeling like this.
“We’ll make it work,” I say, though I’m already thinking of ways to make this as easy as possible. “I’ll handle the dinner. You just rest.”
She looks up at me, her eyes still red-rimmed but grateful. “I love you for that, but I can’t just hide upstairs while Emily’s here. That’ll look terrible.”
“Then we’ll keep it simple and quick.” I help her to her feet, steadying her when she sways slightly. “And if you need to step away at any point, you do it. No questions asked.”
She nods, leaning into me as we make our way back to the bedroom. I settle her under the covers, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Try to get some more sleep. I’ll wake you in a couple hours.”
As she closes her eyes, I notice the tight line of her shoulders. Tonight is going to test every one of us, and I’m not sure any of us are really ready.
The day slips by too fast. Lucy manages to get a bit of toast and tea down, which is a victory in and of itself. Though, she did shoot me a dirty look when I praised her for it.
By the time Emily knocks, the house smells like roasted chicken and lemon, and Lucy’s dressed in one of my softest flannels, the sleeves rolled to her elbows, her facescrubbed clean. She looks like herself but worn thin. Still, she insists on doing this.
I open the door to find Emily standing on the porch in a belted navy dress and a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Hi,” she says, her eyes darting past me, scanning the house behind my shoulder.
“Hey.” I step aside, and she moves past me just as Lucy appears at my side.
“Emily,” she says, voice calm. “Thanks for coming.”
“Of course, thanks for having me,” Emily replies, taking her in.
