“I’m so sorry, Callan.”
He takes the pills easily despite the pain still visible in his eyes. He swallows them down, and then quirks a brow, his voice softer than I expect. “Nothing to be sorry for, lass.”
“I should have been on top of it.” The words slip out before I can stop them, thick with self-doubt. “You ended up in pain because I?—”
“Bree…no.” Callan shifts slightly. “I should have had the meds beside me and an alarm set to take them. That’s not your responsibility.”
I shake my head, the knot in my throat tightening with every word. “I promised I’d look after you. I should have been more prepared. I should have?—”
“Hey,” he interrupts again, his voice gentle. Callan’s touch is warm as his fingers brush against my arm. “Come here.”
I move, settling next to him, my body instinctively leaning into his as his hand finds mine.
He studies me for a long moment, his blue eyes searching mine with an intensity that makes me feel both seen and understood.
“Bree, love, what’s going on?”
I bite my lip, unwilling to meet his gaze. “It’s nothing. I’m just worried about you.”
“Aye, and I appreciate that. But it seems like there’s something else.”
I let out a slow breath. “I just… I want to do this right.”
“And you are,” he says, his thumb gently tracing circles on my hand. “Look at you, jumping into action the moment you realized I needed help. That’s more than enough.”
“You’re not failing,” he adds quietly, his thumb continuing its soothing rhythm. “I’m lucky to have you.”
His words ease the ache of guilt just a little. It feels good to hear him say it, especially when I can’t seem to hold myself together. I glance up at him, meeting his gaze this time.
“Do you know that it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest when Lucy said they couldn’t find you?” My voice catches, and I fight the tremor in it. “I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think.” I force myself to keep going, to say it out loud, because I need him to hear this. “I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, I just… I need you to understand.”
He nods, and right now, his eyes aren’t just looking at me.They’re holding me. Their usual bright blue hue has darkened, replaced by something stormy, like the sky before a downpour.
“You meaneverythingto me. I know you’re silly, adventurous, spontaneous…and I love that about you. I do. But god, Callan, if I had to go through this again, I don’t know if I’d survive it.”
There’s fear in his eyes. This is coming out all wrong. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say at this point.
“You walked away with broken bones this time, but for a while I was terrified that I’d lost you…forever.”
What I don’t say is that loving him this past week has been like standing on the edge of a cliff. Every smile, every touch, every stolen moment where he made me feel alive has been followed by the constant ache that tightens around my chest, knowing that one wrong step, one leap too far, and I could fall.
If he ever slipped away, I’d be left standing at the edge of a life I built around him, staring into the emptiness left behind. I’d have to figure out how to breathewithout him.
His expression twists with regret, his voice rough. “Christ…Bree. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I give him a sad smile. “We’re both sorry, and I’m not sure there’s anything to be sorry for. I just need you to be careful. I need you breathing and alive, Callan.”
He leans forward, and there’s no mistaking the small gasp of pain that escapes him as his body protests the movement. The need to get closer to me outweighs the discomfort. His rough, calloused hands cup my cheeks with a tenderness that makes my breath hitch. The contact sparks across my skin, sending a rush of warmth straight through me.
His gaze locks onto mine, unwavering, intense, like nothing else exists but the two of us. His eyes are full of promise, an unspoken vow that might shatter me if I let it.
“Anything for you,” he whispers.
forty
CALLAN
I’m a moron. I’ve spent my whole damn life living for the rush, chasing every thrill without a second thought. Not once did I stop to think the one thing that matters more than all of it isher.
