Do I even want to?
The thought of staying isn’t something I need to think twice about anymore. There’s no hesitation when I look up at him. I want this. I want him.
“I do,” I whisper.
The corners of his mouth twitch into a soft smile, but there’s a fire in his eyes, a flicker of relief.
“There’s a lot I want to talk to you about,” he says, his gaze drifting toward the door. “But…will you come home with me after the party at the distillery tonight? We’ll talk.”
“Okay,” I reply, my voice steady, though my heart is still racing. “I’ll be there.”
His lips brush mine in this softest kiss, and my entire body leans into the sensation, seeking more. He pulls back too soon, leaving me chasing the warmth of his mouth.
“Rest up,” he says, standing. “I’ll see you tonight.”
The door clicks shut behind him and silence rushes in. I exhale, flopping back against the bed, staring at the ceiling as my emotions churn in a tangled mess.
I really need to pull myself together, head back to my actual hotel room, and check on Bree.
But first, I need to find my pants.
When I finally drag myself down the hall, it’s like wading through molasses. My body is sluggish, my mind clouded with the remnants of last night’s chaos. When I finally push open the door to our room, the sharp zip of a suitcase fills the air. Bree is perched on the edge of the bed, her eyes widening the moment she spots me.
“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in,” she says with a smirk. She’s entirely too chipper for the state I’m in.
I groan, dropping my purse onto the bed before flopping down beside her. “Please, spare me the jokes. My head is still pounding.”
She laughs, patting my leg like I’m some poor, helpless creature before standing up and resuming her mission to cram an alarming number of items into her suitcase. “Sounds like you had an eventful night, though. Ready to rejoin the land of the living? Also, I’ve got a plane to catch.”
I let out a dramatic sigh. “Don’t remind me. I can’t believe it’s already time for you to leave.”
She nods. “Ugh, I know. This week went by so fast. Have you thought about when you’re coming home?”
That question has been haunting me for weeks now, nagging at the back of my mind. The thought of going back isn’t just overwhelming, especially after the conversation I just had with Knox, butheavy. I’ll need to return at some point, no matter what happens. Just…not yet.
For the first time in years, I’m not trying to twist myself into something more polished or quieter or easier to love. I’m not editing who I am to fit into someone else’s version of enough. With Knox, I’ve never been anything but myself. And he’s never flinched. Never asked me to be less. That means something.
I swallow, forcing a small shrug. “I don’t know, Bree,” I admit. “I think I might stay a few more weeks and see where things go from there.”
Her expression doesn’t shift right away. She studies me, turning my words over in her mind. And then, after a beat, she smiles. A soft, knowing curve of her lips. “You’re not coming home, Jules. I know it. You’re so happy here.”
Tears burn hot behind my eyes, threatening to spill if I so much as open my mouth. If I actually decide to stay, that means leaving Bree behind. And that scares the hell out of me.
She’s been my constant. The one person who’s always been there, no matter how many times I’ve crashed and burned through heartbreak and grief. She’s never once made me feel like I had to do it alone, even when I thought I wanted to.
I’m terrified of choosing Knox and losing the person who’s been my family when I felt like I had none. But what’s the alternative? Going back and pretending that my heart isn’t somewhere else?
I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing a slow breath.
“Don’t you dare,” she warns. “You better not be crying over the idea of staying in a breathtaking country with a man who worships the ground you walk on. Especially when your aunt lives right down the street. You deserve this, Juliette. Every bit of it. I need you to believe that.”
The words do nothing to stop the tears slipping down my cheeks. She pulls me into a fierce hug, her arms tight like she’s trying to shove all the things we haven’t said into this one embrace, willing them into my bones.
She finally pulls away with a soft sigh. “I, on the other hand, need to get to the airport since we all know Dillon has been completely useless without me this week.”
It’s the kind of thing Bree would normally say with a dramatic eye roll or a smirk, but the look in her eyes gives me pause. There’s a flicker of dread, too quick to really pin it down, before she glances away. Whatever it was doesn’t match the teasing tone in her voice.
I don’t like it, and I want to push, but I don’t.
