The scene before me had me dropping to my knees.
"No, no, no, no, no," Ben whimpered as he held a bleeding Molly in his arms. His head whipped in my direction. "I didn't mean to," he wailed. "We fought over the knife, and she fell on it."
I didn't give a shit about Ben at the moment. I crawled across the floor and pushed him away. Leaving one of my teammates to deal with him as I pulled Molly into my arms and cradled her.
"Molly! Baby!" I pushed on the area where the knife was still stuck in her stomach to try and stop the bleeding. "Stay with me, Molly. I can't lose you."
I barely registered that someone was calling for an ambulance behind me. My only focus was my wife and the blood seeping through my fingers.
"She has a pulse." Oxford kneeled next to me and kept his fingers on her neck. "The ambulance is on the way."
I didn't acknowledge him. The only words I could force from my lips were the ones begging Molly to stay alive. "Please, Molly. I love you. I know I haven't told you that yet, but I love you. I need you to be okay so you can hear me tell you."
Time slowed down. I wasn't sure how much of it passed as I continued to tell her over and over again how much she meant to me.
Eventually the ambulance arrived. Paramedics had to force me to let her go so that they could work on her. I couldn't focus on what they were doing. I moved around in a daze. Somehow I made it into the ambulance as they transported her to the hospital. I never took my eyes off her. I was too afraid if I did, she would slip away from me.
My teammates were forced to restrain me when the doctors wheeled her back for surgery. It felt like they were taking my heart straight out of my chest. I wanted to be by her side. To tell her that no matter what, I would never leave her, but they wouldn't let me.
For the first time since I left the Army, I felt helpless to save someone.
I don't knowhow long I sat out in the waiting room. It could've been an hour or maybe ten. I waited for someone to come out to let me know how Molly was doing.
"She's going to be fine, man. You have to believe that." Rhett clapped his hand on my back. Elle sat in the chair next to him, crying her eyes out. Sarah––Graham's wife––was watching Savannah so she could be here with the rest of us. Elle had hugged me when she’d first shown up, but I had yet to say a word to her. I was speechless. Despite my teammates trying to get my attention, the only thing I could focus on was Molly's blood on my hands.
Time continued to drag on. With each passing moment, guilt ate at me. If I hadn't been in Vegas, this wouldn't have happened. I should never have left her, knowing that someone could be after her. It was my job to protect her, and I failed.
When the doctor finally came out, I was seconds away from coming out of my skin. I skimmed over most of what he said. The only things that registered was she was alive, and no major organs were hit.
"When can I see her?"
"She's being transferred to a room now. Once she's settled in, you can go back but only two at a time."
I met Elle's teary gaze and nodded. She deserved to go back just as much as I did.
We were shown to Molly's room about ten minutes later by a nice nurse. "It might take her some time to wake up. She's been through a bit of an ordeal, but her vitals are strong."
"Why don't you go wash your hands?" Elle glanced down to where I was wiping them on my shirt. "She's not going to wake in the next two minutes."
"Call me if she does." I rushed into the attached bathroom and scrubbed my hands raw. I watched as red water swirled down the drain, and it made me sick, knowing it was Molly's blood.
Blood never bothered me. I had seen more men hurt while deployed than I cared to admit. I long ago stopped thinking about whose blood I was wearing. But no matter how hard I tried to compartmentalize, I couldn't do that knowing it was my wife. I was a wreck, but I needed to get myself together before Molly woke up. She needed me to be strong.
Once I was back in the room, I pulled up a chair next to her bed and sat down. Careful not to bump any of the wires, I took her hand and held on as if I were afraid she would slip through my fingers.
"She's going to be okay. She's young and strong. Plus she has so much to live for." I didn't know if Elle was trying to convince herself or me, but I felt better hearing it.
"You can't blame yourself." A vague memory of Elle chastising herself when we were out in the waiting room snuck up on me.
"I'm the one who left her at the school all alone." Elle's voice wobbled.
"Yes, to pick up your sick daughter."
I didn't blame Elle. I'd have done the same if it were my daughter. Molly's best friend didn't deserve to hold on to the guilt.
"You can't blame yourself either."
That one was harder for me to swallow.
