“Do you want me to do that?”
“Not if it makes you uncomfortable or if you’re trying to earn something.”
I lower my gaze.
I’m not uncomfortable.
But I don’t know what to do, either.
Caspian rubs my back slowly. My eyelashes flutter when I feel myself relaxing.
“In the car, how did you want me to react?” he asks gently.
My face burns.
“I wasn’t after a reaction.”
“Be honest.”
I press my face against his chest.
“I liked how you looked at me,” I admit, my fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.
“How you sounded.”
I shift my weight. My voice gets smaller.
“It felt like you wanted me too.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “Saying no wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do.”
“But I wanted it,” I mutter.
“You were jealous and hurt when you said it,” he reminds me. “Antonio, I’ve had sex to avoid feelings. I’ve had sex to distract myself. I don’t want that for us. I don’t want our first time to be an escape.”
I blink.
“You probably said a lot of wise things, but I only heard the part about you having sex and then I had to focus very hard on not biting your ear off.”
His mouth curves.
“I’m extremely mature,” I add.
“You’re trying to be, at least. I’m proud of you.”
“I don’t want to feel so small all the time,” I admit.
His arms close around me immediately.
“Oh baby, you’re not small,” he murmurs, brushing his lips over my hair. “You’re shorter than me, sure, but the impact you have on me is immense.”
“But you don’t lose control.”
“That’s true,” he says evenly. “I choose when to let go.”
I close my eyes. Why does everything sound so hot when he says it?
His thumb brushes slowly along my hip.
