How scared I am.
How badly I’m going to mess this up.
How much I love you.
“I’m thinking about all the sex we’re never ever going to have.”
Caspian takes a deep breath.
“I said not tonight. I didn’t say never ever,” he replies calmly. “I don’t want your first time to be after a fight. I hope you’re not mad at me for that.”
“Oh, I’m not mad,” I say breezily. “I’m… horny.”
I shift in my seat, trying to look sultry but probably channeling a lustful penguin.
“So very horny.”
His knowing look sends shivers down my spine.
“You’re not playing fairly,” he reprimands. His voice alone makes heat rush through me.
Now I’m actually horny.
The smile I give him is pure innocence.
“I’m not playing.”
I shift in my seat again, letting the tension stretch. I lower my voice to a huskier, more seductive register.
“Except with myself later.”
“Antonio.”
The way he says my name is a warning—gentle, controlled, but still a warning.
Blood rushes south, and I bite my lip.
“What? I might—I might jerk off in your shower.”
I’m not serious. I just want him to look at me like that. Like he’s tempted. Like I’m not small and inexperienced, but someone he could lose control over.
“Really?” His voice drops dangerously low. “You’re going to jerk off in my shower?”
Oddio… Why am I trying to play poker with a professional when I don’t even have a full deck?
“Yeah,” I say, clearing my throat. I can’t back down now. “I just might.”
Silence fills the car.
Did I go too far? Is he annoyed? Disappointed? Tired of me pushing? Worried for his shower?
He doesn’t look angry or worried. He doesn’t look like losing control, either.
I feel even smaller now in comparison.
Caspian pulls into my parents’ driveway so that I can get a few things from my room.
“Are you staying for dinner?” Mom asks immediately, pulling me into a hug.
