“No, please. I would do anything.”
My grab tightens over the knife handle as blood drips down. I chuckle twistedly as I stand before her then lean down slightly, she backs away as much as possible, holding her palms up to me as a wall between us as her body shakes in fear.
I tilt my head. “Hmm, I know you would do anything to get what you want.” I swirl the knife before her teary eyes. “I think of sparing you, but you know what I remember?” I stab the wall beside her abruptly as she shrieks, blood drips down her ear as I nicked it. I inch closer to her face with a smile. “I remember how much I begged your dear husband to spare me and you didn’t bother to glance at me. You let him torment my existence and all you thought about was how to get your drugs.”
She shakes her head as her lips tremble. “No, no, I didn’t mean to.”
She shuts up as I glide the knife over her lips. “I hate liars.” I slash her mouth open as her eyes widen then shove the knife into her mouth. Blood spills out of her onto my face as I give her a toothy grin. Her body falls limp to the side as I walk around the living room, adjusting my blood smeared glasses. I whistle a tune as I grab the vodka bottle and other alcohols and spill their contents onto both their bodies. My bloody footprints decorate the floors as I stand in the front foor way and look over my work. The lighter cold against my grip as I open it and watch the flame sparking to life.
“Enjoy the taste of hell.”
I scoff and throw the lighter onto the ground as the flames spread over the house and onto their bodies, eating away my misery as I close the door and stand in the front yard watching all my memories turn to ashes. A weight lifts off my chest as I take a deep breath. I’m finally free of my burden.
I put my hands in my pockets and walk away into the foggy night with my bloody clothes and nothing to own.
Chapter Seventeen
The past
Clayton
December 3
In the black dead of the night, I lean my back against the tree trunk. Elsie’s parents and some of their acquaintances stand afar in front of Elsie’s grave, their black clothes soaking in the pouring rain. Annette shakes uncontrollably as I can hear her sobs even from all the distance. John or should I say Koa, has a protective arm around her shoulder as he rests his cheek onto the top of her head then places a kiss there.
The world seems darker in this gloomy town, the fog thicker as it covers Elsie’s spirit from the cruel world.
Flowers decorate her grave in various colors as people start to leave.
Her parents stay for a while as Annette finally breaks down completely, her knees buckling as Koa wraps her arms around her body and picks her up into his embrace, his hand holding the back of her head as his own body shakes in silent sobs.
I step forward hesitantly to apologize and give them my condolences. They accepted me into their home, thinking I was a mere orphan. Annette always hugged me even when I didn’t hug her back. Koa always looked at me warily as if he knew I suspected his past but he still never treated me like my father did and he was reasonably protective over his daughter.
“We lost our baby, Koa.”
My steps falter as I hear Annette's shaky voice. She called him by his real name.
“She will always be with us, Ann. Always.”
I retreat to the tree, until I feel the trunk against my back. I can’t ruin this moment for them as I have ruined their life when I walked into their home. I couldn’t help myself to stay away from their daughter. I killed her, she died because I was selfish and thought that I can finally have someone.
koa walks away with Annette in his arms as they disappear into the night, the fog eating them away.
Elsie’s gravestone stands in the middle of Grimridge’s graveyard. The memory of her holding her own birthday cake and talking with every dead soul, so they won’t feel forgotten makes my heart ache. I hope the spirits welcome her with open arms and warm smiles that she deserves, or I will dig their skeletons out and melt them.
My footsteps stop before her gravestone.
Elsie Beaumont
The bug of her family
I take a deep breath and let the tears fall onto the muddy ground. “I-I’m sorry.” I sniffle as my hands shake beside me. “I never thought that one day you won’t be with me. That your voice won’t brighten my days. I know what you will say, that it’s not my fault and you will always forgive me, but I don’t want you to forgive me, Elsie. I won’t ever forgive myself.”
I grab the daisies I picked up on my way and hold them up for her. I kneel down on one knee as I hang my head low in shame. “I didn’t write you a letter, because I wanted to tell you myself. I thought we had all the time in the world ... .Elsie, we were each other’s only friend, and I have spent the most precious days with you. I was never meant to have a family, but I would live all this misery and abuse again, just so I can get to have you in my life.” A sob breaks out of me. “Mon ange, I have loved you for so long, to the point that I don’t even remember when the feelings started. I always felt chosen and cared for with you, your presence meant safety and love. I was a coward and nevertold you how much I love you cause I knew you always saw me as your friend, your protector. But, I didn’t deserve you, so I challenged myself everyday to show you that I’m worthy and I wanted you to love me back. My blood boiled when any guy approached you and that dick Jackson for daring to ask you on a date. I was the one who took you to places you loved to explore and cherish. All he did was give you some coffee and parade his father’s money. I craved to call you mine everyday.”
My knee buckles as I fall onto her grave on my hands, clutching the mud between my fingers as I let out a scream and punch the ground.
“Why?! Why would you leave me, Elsie. You promised. You promised you would always be here.”
